


this is me trying

by HC05



Series: baby, i love your way [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bad Boy Good Boy Trope, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fist Fights, Gay Jung Sungchan, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Jung Sungchan-centric, M/M, Miscommunication, Pansexual Lee Haechan, References to Alcohol, References to Sex, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:20:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 40,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28210797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HC05/pseuds/HC05
Summary: Sungchan was new in town, but he quickly found himself becoming important to the school's bad boy; Lee Haechan.Alternatively, Sungchan is the good to Haechan's bad.
Relationships: Jung Sungchan/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Series: baby, i love your way [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2066547
Comments: 18
Kudos: 83





	1. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw/tws: sexual mentions/content, alcohol/getting drunk, fist fights, arguments, yelling and swearing. 
> 
> enjoy :]

“Haechan, you can’t just go around starting fights with people because you don’t like the way they look at you.” Jaemin lectured, forcing his friend to look him in the eye.

Haechan sighed, tutting out his bottom lip as he looked anywhere but Jaemin’s eyes. He didn’t need to hear this crap, after all, he wasn’t the one who started the fight. Jungwoo had that fight coming from the moment he insulted Haechan.

“Can you just drop it Jaemin?” Haechan spat after Jaemin continued to lecture him.

Jaemin’s shoulders dropped, choosing to walk away rather than arguing with his friend. It’d been their first fight in months, but it was about the same thing all over again. It was always about Haechan’s fights. 

Haechan turned the other way, marching to the school’s exit as he couldn’t attend any classes for the next few days as punishment. He didn’t even care, his grades were good enough for him to miss a few days. 

His walk home gave him time to think about what he’d do when he gets there, and how he’d avoid running into his parents if they come home early. As far as he knew, they’d be working right now, but this past month, they’d been coming home early so he couldn’t take any chances. 

He climbed through his bedroom window, finding his door open but hearing nothing throughout the rest of the house. If either of them were home, there’d at least be creaks or muffled whispers. 

He walked into the kitchen, fixing himself some snacks to enjoy before returning to his room, throwing himself onto his bed and pulling his laptop out. Most people assume that he’d spend his suspension picking more fights, or hanging at the back of some club, getting wasted, but he wasn’t the full description of a bad boy. 

He just had a temper, and never had someone to tell him when to walk away.

—

“This school is huge.” Sungchan spoke into his phone to his mother as he approached his new school.

“It’ll be fun Sungie.” She responded. “Just give it a chance. I’ll see you tonight, okay?”  
  
“Yep.” He sighed. “Love you mum.”  
  
“Love you too.”  
  
He walked into the office after hanging up, holding onto the straps of his bag. The interior was cleaner than the school he previously attended, and there weren’t any mean faces that could make the tall boy shrink thus far. 

He wanted to conclude that the school was nice, but he hadn’t met any students yet, so he was exempt from forming conclusions at this stage. 

The office lady handed him his schedule and sent him off with a good luck wish, to which he bowed and went on his way. The school was ridiculously big like he’d relayed to his mother, but the map helped him easily locate the classroom he needed to be in for his first period.

Despite the size of the school, the classrooms were relatively proportionate and left Sungchan sitting with two people on either side of him. The seats weren’t extremely close, so he was able to space himself out how he liked, and still avoid all physical contact with his seatmates.

He was a bit nervous regarding social interaction with the other students, as he didn’t know how they’d treat the new kid, but he supposed he was lucky that his seatmates kept to themselves. He hoped he’d get through most of the day with the same treatment from everyone else. 

His classes ran as he assumed they would, and he eventually started to feel the usual cramp in his hand from excessively writing notes down. Lunch was an hour away, so he tried his best to not worry about time and get through his classes effortlessly. It was only when the bell for lunch rang that someone actually spoke to him.

“Are you new?” He asked, slinging his bag onto his back. Sungchan observed the latter for a moment before responding and introducing himself.

“Jung Sungchan.” He said. “Who are you?”  
  
“Na Jaemin.” He smiled. “It’s nice to meet you, do you have anyone to sit with at lunch?”

Sungchan shook his head. “You’re the first person I’ve spoken to today, apart from my mother.”  
  
He grabbed his bag, pondering on his words for a moment as he awaited Jaemin’s response.

“That sounds lame.” He interrupted, making Jaemin laugh.

“Why don’t you sit with me?” Jaemin suggested. “I’ll show you around.”  
  
Sungchan nodded, eliciting a smile as he followed Jaemin to the canteen. It wasn’t particularly full and there weren’t many tables, so after getting their food, Jaemin led them to a secluded place that he claimed was the spot his friends always sat in.

“Where are your friends today?” Sungchan asked, looking around for any other students. There were none, and he started to grow worried.

“My best friend, Haechan, is suspended because he’s an idiot, and my other friend, Chenle, will be here soon. He’s probably still at the canteen, he takes forever because he talks to everyone there.”  
  
Sungchan nodded, feeling more assured that he wouldn’t be alone with Jaemin. He’d always thought he wasn’t good at holding one on one conversations with new people. 

“How’d your friend get suspended?” He asked as he began eating. Jaemin sighed at the question, putting his cutlery down to answer it.

“He’s kind of like those guys in the movies who are well known by the school as the bad boy, and he picked another fight for no reason and got suspended for a few days.” Jaemin said, “He hates not seeing his friends though, so we’re going over to his house after school. You should join if you can.”

“Would he be alright with a stranger at his house?” Sungchan questioned.

Jaemin shrugged. “I don’t see him disliking making a new friend.”

“So why’d he pick a fight if he knew he’d just get suspended?”  
  
“Fuck if I knew.” Jaemin chuckled, stabbing his food. “He does a lot of questionable things, but he’s my best friend so instead of questioning it, I just try to keep him in line, and out of jail.”

Sungchan laughed before he realised Jaemin was being serious. After that, he dug into his food as an excuse to keep quiet, praying for the other kid to join them soon. 

Jaemin kept eating as if nothing had happened, and eventually, they were joined by Chenle who had a tray of food and a bag heavier than Sungchan and Jaemin’s combined.

“Hey.” Chenle sat next to Jaemin, “Who’s this?”  
  
“New kid.” Jaemin mumbled, focused on his food. Chenle turned to look at Sungchan who sat opposite them.

“I’m Sungchan, today’s my first day. Is it okay if I sit here? Jaemin said I could join.”

Chenle smiled, offering his hand. “I’m Chenle, and of course, we always like new faces. I’m sure you’d cause less hassle than Haechan anyway, you told him about Haechan right?” Chenle mumbled, nudging Jaemin who nodded in return.

“You guys don’t sound very fond of him.” Sungchan concluded wearily.

“Oh, don’t get us wrong, we love him but in a brotherly way, so expect lots of trash talking.” Chenle said with a chuckle.  
  
Sungchan simply nodded, shoving another forkful of his meal into his mouth. The three of them kept the chat light as they ate, making no room for awkwardness. 

He couldn’t help but focus on the meeting with Haechan tonight. It was like he already knew more about Haechan than the people in front of him based on how much they talked about the latter. 

He wondered what type of personality Haechan would have to be the school’s bad boy. Sungchan had always been the innocent one, keeping himself so busy with his studies that he didn’t have the room to care about much else. It’d always been an expectation that he’d attend a high school party, or date someone by the age of fifteen, but he was nearly eighteen now and had done neither of that. It wasn’t a top priority for him, so he didn’t let it bother him. 

His top priorities as of late were to get through his last two years of high school successfully, and get into a prestigious university. It was a typical plan, he knew that, but he wanted nothing more than to be successful in his school life, and be capable of acquiring a career that could get him enough wealth to repay his mother, for the years of support she provided him. 

Usually, he wasn’t one to think children need to repay their parents in terms of money because of the difference in circumstances, but his mother had it hard raising him on her own. She’s always been without the help of parents or external presences so he wanted to give her something in return that’d be worthwhile. 

As the past few years had passed, he’d also noticed his mother show more emotion regarding the difficulties of being a single mother and it just made him want to make her proud. He wanted all her hardships to be worth it.

He kept chatting to his new friends as the lunch dragged on, ignoring the buzzing he felt in his pocket. 

Jaemin walked with him to his last class, leaving Sungchan by the door as they had different classes now. Before the other ran off, they exchanged numbers, with Jaemin stating that he’d text Sungchan the address of Haechan’s house for later. 

He walked into class with excitement regarding what’d happen after school, quickly checking his notifications before the teacher could enter to begin class. His mother had just left him a few messages informing him that she would call him later to discuss something regarding dinner. He texted back that he would be home later than usual, briefly mentioning that he would be with his new friends before tucking his phone away.

The lesson went on at a steady pace, not filled with loads of note taking like his previous classes, and ended promptly at three pm. Sungchan headed to his new locker to leave certain books there, taking the books he’d need for homework later, before heading out the exit and down the same path he took earlier this morning from his new house.

The neighbourhood was different to his previous one, obviously, but it was different in such a way that Sungchan found himself walking off track to explore. 

The lights above the roads weren’t lit yet, but the buzzing of flies was growing louder with each passing second, and the sky was turning from a pale blue to a warm orange as Sungchan approached a strip of shops, packed in side by side to each other. He entered the first cafe he saw, ordering a small latte to go before wandering down the path again.

He liked this neighbourhood, and he wished that he could stay here for as long as possible to discover as much as possible about the entrancing region. He found the nearest park, and took a seat at the bench to sip on his hot drink. 

A buzzing in his pocket brought him out of his trance, temporarily pushing his worries about meeting Haechan aside to check his phone. It was Jaemin, like he’d promised, sending the details of Haechan’s address. Sungchan threw the address into his maps app, locating that he was merely a ten minute walk away. He decided it wouldn’t hurt to start heading there now; after all, he had nothing else to do.

In his old neighbourhood, birds used to chirp around five pm, but it was quiet here, only making room for the sound of zooming cars driving into the interspace. At some point, Sungchan swore he could hear the beat of his heart over the noises from the environment. He wondered how two regions could be so different despite being just a few hours away from one another. 

As he pulled up to the street that was definitely Haechan’s, due to the sign matching the address Jaemin gave him, he began to walk along the path, squinting at the houses to locate the house that matched Haechan’s number. He realised that he might be on the wrong side of the street, as he was a far way off from house 50. His phone buzzed again before he could doubt where he was.

It was his mum again, asking if she could call him. He liked the message before calling her first.

“Hey ma.” He answered, continuing to walk down the street. “Everything okay?”  
  
“Yeah, I just wanted to call because I want you to know that we’ll have a visitor tonight.” She spoke hurriedly.

Sungchan’s eyebrows strung together at the statement. They’ve almost never had visitors, apart from a few work colleagues, so he hoped it was just another case similar to that. His mothers’ tone sounded different however, and he could already sense that it probably wasn’t a work friend or anything close to that.

“Do I need to be home at a certain time then?” He paused his walking as he finally found the house that belonged to Haechan, knowing he was in the right spot as he saw Jaemin waving through the window from inside the house.

“Is eight pm too early?” She asked. “It’s still a school night so I don’t want you home too late.”

“That’s fine.” He checked his watch, which read four thirty. “I might be home earlier, depending on how long these guys want to hang out.”  
  
He could almost feel his mother nod through the phone. “I’ll see you then. Also, I need you to be on your best behaviour. This visitor could potentially be my new partner.”  
  
Now that wasn’t what Sungchan was expecting. His mother hadn’t dated since he was born, so it was a bit of a shock for him to hear that their house might be infiltrated by a new person. He gulped the information down and slapped a smile on.

“Sure mum.” He responded, “I’ll be as nice as pie.” 

She laughed and hung up moments after saying goodbye, leaving Sungchan to shove his phone in pocket and approach Haechan’s front door. The door swung open even before he could knock, and Jaemin smiled his way.

“Finally,” He said, pulling Sungchan inside before he could even say hello. 

The house was extremely different to his in terms of furnishing, but he put that down to how boxes were still scattered around his. Jaemin dragged him into a room that he assumed was the lounge or TV room, but Sungchan’s attention was taken off the interior onto the new face staring directly at him. He assumed it was Haechan.

“Hello.” He said, making sure to wave at Chenle. Jaemin looked between them before nudging Haechan who seemed to be in a daze.

“I’m Haechan.” His voice was mellow and made Sungchan bite his lip to hold back a grin. “You’re Sungchan?”  
  
“That’s me.” 

The others looked between them before turning the mammoth sized television on. Sungchan wondered if all they’d do was watch TV, or if the house had other wonders to explore. He sat on Haechan’s couch awkwardly, not wanting to make himself too comfortable in case it came off as rude.

The TV wasn’t too loud, as the boys preferred to chat abundantly fast amongst themselves. He tuned into the conversation, adding a few points every few minutes so he wasn’t completely left out, but for the most part, he focused on Haechan. The latter looked too righteous to be the school’s bad boy, it had Sungchan wondering how he was able to pick fights when he was so small and feeble. He pondered on Haechan’s reaction if he ever said that aloud.

“This show is boring.” Haechan sighed. “Let’s go outside. The pool is clean, we can hang around there and play a few games if we want.”  
  
The others jumped up, nodding at Sungchan to follow them. Jaemin stuck with him as Chenle walked with Haechan who bounced to the back door and ran to pull the cover off his pool. The setup of his backyard made Sungchan wonder how much money Haechan’s parents had, it was well beyond anything he’d ever seen in someone’s backyard. As the others sat around the pool, he supposed that Haechan noticed his underlying shocked thoughts as the smaller boy bounced over to him and asked if he wanted to play a game of darts.

Sungchan found himself playing darts for the first time, laughing whenever he accidentally threw it past the board into Haechan’s garden. He was having fun nevertheless, watching Haechan effortlessly throw the deadly objects into the parts of the board that rewarded him the most points.

“How are you so good at this while I’m missing every second shot?” Sungchan whined, finding himself immensely comfortable in Haechan’s presence.

A smirk lingered on Haechan’s lips as he threw more darts away. “I do this nearly everyday, it’s my specialty to be out here thanks to how much time I spend at home from suspensions.”

Sungchan forced himself to nod, and hold a brief smile, before taking his turn. Haechan turned to him with an expression unlike anything he’d seen before, stepping aside as the expression fell away and replaced itself with a blank face. He threw the first dart, grumbling when it missed again.

Before he could throw the next one, Haechan stood behind him, grabbing his arm mindlessly close to his wrist. He felt his heart rate speed up a little as Haechan’s body pressed against his, angling his arm to throw the dart at the board.

“See whenever you throw it, it goes too far to the right, but if you start throwing from the left, the wind will push it to hit the board.” He mumbled into Sungchan’s ear. Sungchan didn’t dare to turn his head as he knew that would put him in a situation he wasn’t ready for.

He ignored the beating of his heart to throw the dart like Haechan had instructed, turning around to high five him as the dart finally hit the board. Haechan smiled intricately at him before turning away upon hearing his name being called. Jaemin stood by the pool table on Haechan’s deck, holding a shaft in his hand. Chenle stood on the other side, one hand on the table and the other on his shaft. 

“Come join us!” Jaemin yelled. Haechan put the darts aside, patting Sungchan’s back to invite him too before running over. 

Haechan passed a shaft to Sungchan before grabbing his own, and starting the game. 

He observed the way the others played to get a feel of how he’d counteract their moves. Pool was the one recreational game Sungchan was good at, and knew all the rules inside out, he was confident that he could show off a little. It’d make up for the fool he made of himself in front of Haechan at darts.

Jaemin started the game, hitting the white ball into the triangular array of billiards, making each colour fly across the table. Sungchan was impressed when Jaemin already got two in from his first shot, passing the turn onto Chenle once he missed in his second try. He stood opposite Chenle, next to Haechan who watched the table carefully, eyebrows strung together cutely.

The clouds were the same colour as the ball Chenle hit, contrastingly clouds move but Chenle’s ball didn’t move enough to make it through any holes. The others laughed at the sulky expression on Chenle’s face, awaiting the next person to take their turn. Sungchan assumed Haechan would take his turn now, but instead, found Haechan staring at him expectantly.

“You go.” Haechan mumbled.

Sungchan offered a small smile, stepping forward to take his turn before anything could turn awkward. He didn’t want to acknowledge the truth behind how Haechan is different from anyone he’s ever met, but there was no denying it. Haechan is special.

He took his turn, aiming at the billiards steadily, impressing the others immediately with his accuracy and perfect technique that got all his shots in. Eventually, he missed and had to let Haechan take his turn. 

He stood next to Haechan again, impervious to how he naturally gravitated towards the boy. Sungchan was unsure how long this game would go for, or how many they would play, but the sky indicated to him that they’d probably head inside soon. He noted that if they went inside, they might reside in the upstairs section of Haechan’s house, presuming that Haechan’s bedroom was upstairs. He grew nervous at the idea of being in Haechan’s bedroom, but didn’t know why.

“I think Sungchan won.”

Chenle sighed, hitting another billiard for it to go nowhere.

The others waited for Sungchan to take his turn now, watching him closely. He shrugged off the intensity of their stares and took his shots, getting each billiard in consecutively. Haechan tutted when there were no billiards left for him to hit.

“I told you guys.” Chenle said, putting his shaft away. They followed suit in putting their equipment away, leaving the billiards in the table's ends.

“It’s nearly seven pm.” Haechan looked at his watch once they were inside. “Do you guys want to stay for dinner?”  
  
The two shrugged, agreeing haphazardly just for the attention to focus on Sungchan. Haechan looked up at him with the same expression that he had outside when they played darts together, and if Sungchan didn’t have self control, he would’ve given in and said yes then and there.

“My mother wants me home for dinner, we’ve got someone coming over, sorry.”

He held eye contact with Haechan the entire time, smiling nervously at the end of his sentence. Haechan simply shrugged, telling them to head to his room before his parents would come home.

Sungchan followed the others into Haechan’s room, amazed at the size of it. His bedroom wasn’t even half the size of Haechan’s, he was jealous but also wondered what the heck the elder did with so much space. 

Jaemin and Chenle jumped onto the mini couch before Haechan could say anything, grabbing nearby controllers before turning his TV on. Haechan took a seat on his bed, noticing Sungchan awkwardly standing by the door. 

“Take a seat Sungchan.” He said, patting the space next to him. Before Sungchan could register the words, he was moving towards Haechan, sitting where the latters’ hand once was.

He focused on the video games the other two were playing on Haechan’s TV as Haechan scrolled through his phone, closing and opening app after app. Sungchan found himself wanting to talk to Haechan, but forced himself to keep his focus trained on the TV.

The latter seemed unbothered with Sungchan’s presence, utilising his phone like he wasn’t surrounded by his friends. Sungchan supposed this was normal for the trio, wondering how long they’d been friends for them to be this comfortable with each other.

“What time did you need to head off?” Haechan asked, putting his phone away to focus on Sungchan.

“Well, I have to walk home and my mum wants me home by eight, so I’ll probably leave in twenty minutes.” He made eye contact with Haechan and forced himself to not shy away from his intense stare. Haechan’s eyes held strong emotion but it intrigued Sungchan, drew him in and helped him maintain eye contact.

“Want me to drive you?” He offered.

Sungchan’s eyes widened. “Are you sure?”  
  
Haechan nodded. “My car is in the garage.”

He looked at the other two, realising they were too enthralled by their game to even hear the conversation happening between Haechan and himself. He blushed when he met Haechan’s eye again, shifting his body off the bed so he could stand up.

“Let’s go then.”

He watched Haechan’s next moves, smiling when he followed Sungchan’s moves, pausing in front of his other friends who were still oblivious to their conversation.

“I’m driving Sungchan home.” Haechan stated. “I’ll be back soon, don’t burn the place down please.”

“Gotcha.” Jaemin said. “See you tomorrow Sungchan!”  
  
He simply waved in response, too focused on Haechan who left the room, leaving the door open for Sungchan to follow behind him. They made their way to the garage together, and Sungchan couldn’t hold back his shock at the priceless commodities that surrounded him.

Haechan laughed at the shocked gasp he released, asking if he was alright before opening the passenger door for Sungchan to climb in.

“I knew the car would be expensive, but I did not expect the entire garage to be filled with things that are probably more expensive than my houses’ entire worth.” He said, buckling his seatbelt in as Haechan climbed into the driver seat.

“My parents work a lot.” He said. “Brings in a lot of money I guess.” 

The last statement was said with a shrug which made Sungchan realise there was more to the statement, but Haechan probably didn’t want to tell someone he just met.

As Haechan drove around the streets of their town, Sungchan found himself feeling small for the first time in his presence. It wasn’t a bad thing— he just couldn’t help but feel small in the reclined seat while Haechan sat upright, one hand on the wheel, one hand tapping his thigh to the beat of the radio. The silence should’ve felt awkward, but it didn’t, even when they pulled up to a red light and Haechan turned his head, meeting the eyes of Sungchan who had been staring at him prior. 

Sungchan forced back a blush, looking away casually as Haechan proceeded to act like nothing happened.

“What’s your street name again?” He asked.

Sungchan recited the name, remembering it solely because his mother made him recite it to her before he was allowed to leave the house yesterday. Something about how if he gets lost, he’ll at least remember his street name to ask strangers for help or relocate himself via the maps app.

He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realise the car had come to a stop and Haechan was staring at him again. 

“Sungchan.” He muttered, catching the youngers’ attention. He met Haechan’s eye, feeling small again as Haechan’s stare was so intense.

“Thanks for driving me.” He mumbled, grabbing the handle to open his door. Haechan leaned closer as he peeled himself out of the car.

“See you tomorrow.” Haechan called out. “If you’re not busy that is.”  
  
Sungchan looked back, eyebrows giving away his confusion. “You want me to come over again?” 

Haechan nodded, pushing forward a paper that Sungchan put his hand through the window to grab. It had his number on it, and that made Sungchan bite his lip again to force back a smile. He stepped back, allowing space for Haechan to drive away before turning on his heel to walk into his house. 

Sungchan had just met Haechan, and yet, he felt like this was the start to something incredible.

“Hey darling.” 

His mother greeted, rushing around the kitchen as food cooked in nearly every section of the room. The smell was enough to make Sungchan not regret leaving Haechan’s place.

“Hey mum.” He gave her a brief hug before asking if she needed any help. 

As if she was waiting for him to ask, she shoved equipment in his hands and set him off to cook steaks outside with strict instructions on how they should be cooked. 

As he stood in front of the barbeque, he thought about earlier, remembering the way Haechan stared at him with an expression that made him wonder if he was imagining it. The intensity of his stares made Sungchan wonder if he always stared at people like that, and if he held the same entertained glimpse that he held when he looked at Sungchan. 

Although Sungchan knew he wasn’t, he liked to think that he could be special. 

The back door opened, and his mother appeared, checking on his progress. Half of the meat was done, but he’d gotten distracted and a few nearly burnt if it weren’t for his mums’ appearance.

“Are you feeling okay?” She asked, taking the tongs out of his hand. He usually wasn’t one to get easily distracted.

“Yeah. I’m gonna go inside.” He mumbled. “Is there something in there I can do?”  
  
She nodded. “Set the table and pour drinks. Water for you, and two wines.”

He chuckled lightly at the water comment, knowing if there weren’t any guests he’d be allowed wine too. Whenever they ate together and his mother was in the mood for alcohol, she allowed him a glass of his own as long as he didn’t drink more than two refills. 

He stepped inside, inhaling the sweet smell again before locating the stack of plates to spread across the table. He wondered for a moment where the appropriate places were to position the plates, thinking too hard about whether or not he wanted to position his mother and new date close to each other. 

He settled on putting a plate at the head of the table for himself, and left the other two opposite each other. It would allow the conversation to flow easily if everyone was seated in a comfortable position, where they wouldn’t need to turn at all when they speak to someone. 

His mother walked back in, thanking him before distributing tray after tray into his hands to place on the table. As he finished placing all the trays filled with delicious cuisine, the doorbell rang and his mother ran to open it.

He decided to take a seat as he waited for the new date to enter, putting his phone in his pocket when he heard the footsteps grow louder. Sungchan’s mother walked in with another lady following behind her.

She was relatively the same height as his mother, which in contrast to Sungchan’s height was tiny. He bowed politely, smiling at the new presence.

“This is Hyerin.” His mother said. “We met at work. Hyerin, this is my son, Sungchan.” She pulled a chair out for Hyerin, excusing herself to rush into the kitchen quickly.  
  
“It’s nice to meet you Sungchan.” Hyerin smiled, taking a seat. “Your mother has told me lots about you already.”

He smiled again, unsure on how to respond, letting Hyerin continue speaking. His mother walked in again with cutlery, taking her seat discreetly. Sungchan had never seen his mother this nervous before, and he realised how desperate she was for this dinner to go well. 

“What has she said about me?” He asked, breaking the silence. “I’m sure it’s all just bragging about how I’m the best son ever.”  
  
They let out a laugh at his words. He grinned along, winking at his mum to silently tell her that he’d got this. 

“You’d be pleased to hear that there have been zero complaints about you.” 

Hyerin laughed, to which Sungchan sheepishly smiled, unable to hold back a blush from flourishing across his cheeks. 

They started filling their plates with food, and Sungchan pushed any thoughts about earlier to the back of his mind to focus on the event at hand. His mother was chatting quietly to Hyerin, and he took it upon himself to start quietly chewing on his food, hoping they didn’t think he was intruding. Subsequently, he realised he shouldn’t feel like he’s intruding in his own house.

Once the entree was out of the way, Hyerin turned to him and began to ask about school.

“Make any friends?” She asked.

He nodded. “Yeah, I did. They’re really cool, I was hanging out with them earlier at one of their houses’.”

Hyerin nodded, hesitant to press for further information. Sungchan found himself giving the information even without being asked, rambling on about how the house was huge and the boy— Haechan was incredibly fun to hang around.

The dinner leaked into the night and eventually, Hyerin bid her goodbye and pressed a kiss on his mothers’ cheek before exiting. It was wild to think that Sungchan wouldn’t be the number one person in his mother’s life forever, but he was glad she was finding company past her son; who’d move out in a few years. It made him happy that she had company outside of him.

—

He walked into school again, hopes for today to be filled with a particular person. The hallways were full of students rushing to their classes and lockers, but Sungchan pushed past most of them easily, having height on his side. His locker was close to the corner, so once he was there, he was relatively alone, taking a relaxed breath. 

He hadn’t seen the others yet, assuming they were either in class or hadn’t arrived yet. He knew Jaemin was in his first period as it was the same class they met in yesterday, so when he entered and found Jaemin in there, he smiled and took a seat beside the latter. 

“Hey Jaemin.” He said, digging into his bag for his supplies. 

Jaemin greeted him back, diving into a conversation about the dinner he had last night. Sungchan listened to him complain about it until the teacher walked in and began the lesson. 

Towards the end of the day, Sungchan realised he hadn’t seen Haechan at all because the elder was still suspended. He mentally hit himself for forgetting, but made a note to ask Jaemin if they were meeting up again later.

Before he could ask, his phone buzzed at a time he knew his mother was too busy to be texting him. She never contacted him on Fridays, due to being stacked with work before the weekend, so he pulled it out immediately to check who was contacting him.

_‘Hey, it’s Haechan! Come over today?’_

He smiled at his phone, saving the number into his contacts list, tucking his phone away to pay attention to his final class. Sungchan was walking home by the time he decided to respond, quickly typing that he’d definitely be there, noticing Haechan read it moments later.

His mother was most likely working into the night, so he didn’t bother letting her know where he’d be and continued walking home. It was quiet when he entered, and he wondered how long it’d take for that to change. For him to arrive home to Hyerin and his mother in each others’ company. 

He realised walking to Haechan’s house was easy now that he knew the route, and he arrived within thirty minutes of walking around the neighbourhood. This time, it was hard to tell whether the house was filled or not, as there was no movement visible from the outside windows. Nonetheless, he pushed his nervousness aside and knocked on Haechan’s door, smiling when the door opened to reveal the smaller boy.

Sungchan found himself in Haechan’s bedroom again, on the couch with a controller in hand, bovine to Haechan’s claims that he wanted to play video games with people other than Jaemin and Chenle. Sungchan felt like asking why, but his tongue was twisted when Haechan’s knee knocked his and an inviting aura overwhelmed the room. He tried to keep the smile to himself but when Haechan snuck a peek at his expression, he gave in, smiling sheepishly at the golden haired boy. 

“So tell me,” Haechan leaned back against the couch, “what made you move to this neighbourhood?”  
  
At first Sungchan didn’t want to talk about it, but the expression in Haechan’s eyes was enough to reassure Sungchan.

“Mum needed a new job.” He said. “She landed a new one at the law firm half an hour from here, and if we didn’t move she’d be travelling hours to get to work. I used to live in Busan.”  
  
Haechan nodded, looking at the TV again to continue their game. It was like the latter didn’t know what to say, so he was spewing random questions in hopes that Sungchan would carry the conversation in his answers.

“Was it hard moving across the country?” 

Sungchan watched Haechan fiddle with a thread from his grey sweatpants. He realised now how casual Haechan’s attire was while he’d put jeans and a fitting shirt on, blushing at the laid back atmosphere he was setting.

“Not really.” He focused on the TV now, pushing multiple buttons to keep his character moving at speed with Haechan’s. “I didn’t have much to leave behind in Busan, so it wasn’t the worst coming here. It’s much busier here than it was there too, so it’s nice, I like busy.”

Sungchan wasn’t sure if his words intrigued Haechan or did the opposite, as the elder didn’t even respond with anything. The air was still comfortable regardless of the silence, making Sungchan wonder what he was getting himself into with this new friendship.

The comfortable silence was broken when there was a knock on Haechan’s door, and Sungchan found himself seated next to a random girl who continuously gave him snarky looks, as if to ask what he was doing here. Quite frankly, Sungchan didn’t know why himself now, so before the air could grow more uncomfortable, he excused himself, telling Haechan he’ll see him later.

Once Sungchan left, he realised the girl had most likely shown up for something along the lines of sex or a raunchy make out session with Haechan.

He wasn’t wrong as the following day, when he stepped into Haechan’s house alongside Jaemin and Chenle, there were hickeys along Haechan’s neck that anyone with eyes could spot from miles away. 

Sungchan was the only one who didn’t join in on the teasing about the hickeys.

—

It’d been a few weeks since Sungchan moved to Seoul, and he still didn’t know what to make of his friendship with Haechan. 

They were friends for sure, but Sungchan wasn’t sure where he stood with Haechan. He didn’t have many friends in his old town, so he had no idea whether Haechan was acting normal or if something was wrong. The latter always treated him differently than others, inviting him over when there was no one else there but making no attempt to push past the barrier between friends and love interests.

He decided to let it go based on the fact that Haechan was a different person to who Sungchan was. He was on the go a lot, jumping from person to person, whilst Sungchan didn’t stray past his friendship with Jaemin, Chenle and Haechan himself. He saw Haechan constantly with someone new, either chatting up a storm with the person or being dragged away from them by Jaemin and Chenle. He wondered how Haechan managed a life like his.

Even so, there was still something about how Haechan had so many options, but still came back to Jaemin and Chenle, that made Sungchan fond. He wanted to stick around to see the real Haechan that the other two saw; he didn’t want to be stuck with the impressions everyone else has of Haechan that the latter gave them out of a desire for maintaining his bad boy image.

The other day, Sungchan was invited to his house again but he turned it down in favour of studying for a test. He didn’t mind too much because there was a party on the weekend at Haechan’s house. Sungchan was invited, of course.

He’d never been to parties before, so he rushed to tell his mother in hopes that she had pointers, after all, he knew she went to many parties when she was a teenager.

“Just wear what you would to a friends’ house.” She said, pacing around the kitchen with flowers in her hand. “And please don’t get drunk or accept any random substances or items from people. No drinking from random cups too if you choose to drink.”  
  
He nodded, helping her place the flowers in vases before dismissing himself to find an outfit for the party. It was in five hours from now, and he wanted to get there early so he could see Haechan without the burden of others. He wondered if a party would be enough to suffice for his internal need to spend time with Haechan.

His phone buzzed as he began his walk to Haechan’s. It was Jaemin, adding him to a group chat with Haechan and an unfamiliar number that he assumed was Chenle’s. He realised it’d been a while since he befriended Chenle, and he was just now getting the boys’ number. 

They were discussing the party, while Jaemin was mostly just panicking about not knowing what to wear due to wanting his clothes to intrigue someone by the name of Renjun. Sungchan laughed at the texts, not knowing who Renjun was, before putting his phone on silent. 

He entered the house, finding Haechan and Chenle preparing the kitchen counter with drinks upon drinks and a few snacks on the side. He wanted to offer help, but it seemed like they were already finished.

As time passed, the house started to become filled with unfamiliar faces and Sungchan found himself sticking to Jaemin’s side; who showed up an hour after Sungchan had arrived, in an outfit beyond fancy for a shitty house party between drunk teenagers. Eventually, Sungchan was introduced to Renjun but also found himself left alone as Jaemin dragged Renjun somewhere more private. Sungchan shook his head at the horny teenagers before making his way into the kitchen, leaning on the counter after pouring himself a cup of booze.

Haechan entered moments later, sliding in next to Sungchan.

“Enjoying yourself?”  
  
“I suppose so.” He responded, looking at Haechan and failing to ignore the hickeys that littered his neck once again. Sungchan wondered if it was that girl again, or someone else. 

“That doesn’t sound too assuring.” Haechan smirked. “Wanna go outside?”  
  
Sungchan shrugged, trying his best to act unaffected by Haechan’s flirty presence. This wasn’t the first time Sungchan has found himself trying to not be influenced by the way Haechan acts, trying to not let himself fall so soon. He followed Haechan outside anyway.

“I forgot to ask, but are you older than me?” Haechan asked, leading them to a secluded section on his deck.

“I assume you’re older.” He replied, sitting on a chair beside Haechan. 

There were lights in the garden bed that shone on Haechan’s face, making Sungchan stare in admiration.

“June 6th 2000.” Was Haechan’s response. Sungchan was right, Haechan’s his hyung.

“September 13th 2001.”

“So I’m your hyung.” Haechan smiled. 

Sungchan nodded, holding onto his knee as an attempt to distract his hand from Haechan’s empty hands. It was almost impossible for him to admit to himself that he wanted to hold Haechan’s hand, but it was inevitable to ignore the warmth he felt at the idea of Haechan choosing to sit with him during his own party. 

It made him feel important, but also made him wonder why Haechan was doing this. He didn’t understand why Haechan would choose to sit with him when there was a full house of people to interact with. 

“You’re really quiet Sungchan-ah.” Haechan said, staring at the large crowd of people in his pool.

Sungchan smiled awkwardly. Haechan’s tone reminded the younger that he wasn’t seen as the kind boy Sungchan had seen since they met, and that saddened him. He didn’t want Haechan to think he saw him as his bad boy image, for he knew Haechan was more than that two-dimensional front. 

Before Sungchan could respond, Chenle dragged them out of their own bubble to participate in beer pong. Sungchan found himself straying from Haechan to play with people who he didn’t know. 

The party started to feel lonely as an after effect of being with Haechan. It was like once you had been around him, everything felt different when he was gone.

He decided to break away from the crowd and head upstairs, where others weren’t allowed. Sungchan wasn’t sure if he also wasn’t allowed, but in the moment he could care less, he just needed a quiet place after those terribly loud rounds of beer pong that Haechan left halfway through in favour of jumping in his pool. 

He found himself in Haechan’s room, sitting on the couch and pulling a controller out to play a few rounds of the video games he always played when he came over.  
  
After a while, the door swung open and a drenched Haechan entered.

“Why are you in my room?” He asked, walking to his connected bathroom. Sungchan watched him leave the door open and begin to strip. He gulped before looking away.

“The party was too loud so I came up here.” He answered. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“I don’t.” Haechan responded, grabbing a towel to dry his wet skin and hair. Sungchan was almost positive that he’d leave the bathroom with the towel wrapped around him, but apparently that’s not what bad boys do. 

Haechan exited in nothing but his underwear, opening his closet with his back to Sungchan, pulling out a new outfit for himself. Sungchan pulled his eyes away when Haechan turned around, looking at the younger with a smirk as if to acknowledge that he knew Sungchan had been staring at his near naked body. It was almost impossible for him not to; Haechan’s body was beautiful, from sculpted thighs to wide shoulders and back muscles that had Sungchan gulping again.

Time slowed as Haechan got dressed but Sungchan felt it speed up again when the latter flopped onto the space next to him rather than going back to the party.

He was so incredibly quiet for a moment, but Sungchan knew better than to turn his head. He could feel Haechan’s breath on his neck and that was enough to keep his eyes trained on the TV ahead of him, fingers gripped tightly to the outskirts of the controller. 

“Sungchan-ah.” 

Haechan’s mouth was practically on Sungchan’s neck. His voice sent vibrations through Sungchan’s body, and made his brain short circuit. Haechan had to be drunk; it was the only plausible explanation for this.

Sungchan tried his best to stay calm, wondering how easy it’d be for someone to walk in. Haechan pushed on though, replacing the controller in Sungchan’s hand with his own hand.

“Don’t be shy Sungchan.” Haechan said. “I know you want this.”  
  
Now he really didn’t know what to do.

It didn’t feel real to have the same person who was flirting with every girl in his vicinity, while Sungchan played beer pong with strangers, up close to him now. Sungchan wanted Haechan to explain his motives, but he was too shy to ask. When it was just him alone with Haechan, his confidence and ability to be unaffected by Haechan’s charisma flew out the window.

“I’m not shy.” He mumbled back, blushing when he finally turned his head. Haechan was sitting so close to him, their lips were merely inches apart. Sungchan wondered if this would’ve happened had Haechan been sober. “Haechan. You’re too drunk for this.”  
  
“I’m not.” He argued, trying to kiss Sungchan.

“Stop.” 

Sungchan didn’t want to be another person Haechan drunkenly made out with. Sungchan knew he wasn’t the first person Haechan had in his bedroom like this; and he didn’t want his first kiss to be with someone who wouldn’t remember it. 

Especially when that someone was important to him.

Sungchan stood up after Haechan leaned away, leaning himself onto the armchair. Sungchan made sure to close Haechan’s door on the way out.

He left the party immediately, texting Jaemin and Chenle individually that Haechan was asleep in his bedroom. He ignored the buzzing in his pocket that he knew were their responses, choosing to lie on his couch, binging his favourite shows for the remainder of the night. His mother wasn’t home, so he assumed he was right about her being stuck at work or spending the night at Hyerins’ place like she did last night.

His desire to run back to Haechan’s place and let their lips communicate was enough to make him reside in his bed, willing himself to sleep to forget the tunnel of events that occurred in the past few hours.

—

He saw Haechan again at school on Monday, noticing how the elder didn’t have any new hickeys on his neck this time. They sat together at lunch while Jaemin and Chenle were still in class, and Sungchan tried his best to see past the occurrence on Saturday night, knowing Haechan doesn’t remember it for the life of him.

He was enjoying Haechan’s company once the latter started rambling about random topics, until the same girl, who showed up at Haechan’s house nearly every time Sungchan was there, decided to join them. It made Sungchan wonder if she was Haechan’s girlfriend from how many times he’s seen her around the elder.

“Where were you on Saturday?” She asked. “I looked everywhere for you at your party.”  
  
“I told you I didn’t want to make out at my party.” Haechan responded lazily, shoving food into his mouth.

She huffed, grazing her eyes over Sungchan for a moment. The latter looked back innocently, wondering why she was turning her attention to him. 

“Why is he always with you?” She complained. “I bet you were too busy fucking him to fuck me.” 

She stormed off after making that wild claim.

Haechan sighed, looking at Sungchan with a look that he couldn’t read. It seized panic through Sungchan for a moment, making him wonder if Haechan remembered his actions from Saturday night or not.

“Sorry about that.”  
  
“It’s fine.” He responded. “People get angry when they’re horny, I suppose.”

When Haechan let out a heavy laugh, Sungchan felt at ease again. Haechan lingered his eyes on Sungchan for a moment before looking away, chewing on his muesli bar. 

Sungchan watched the elder too, only once he’d looked away, wondering how he landed the image of a school bad boy when he still seemed so kind and innocent to the latter. His desire to learn everything about Haechan deepened every time he remembered there was a side to him that Sungchan hadn’t seen.

“Are you done staring?” Haechan smirked, catching Sungchan’s eye.

“Sorry.” He absolutely was not sorry.

Their lunch came to an end when the bell rang, causing them to go their separate ways. With a heavy heart, Sungchan walked away, locating his next class alone. The class passed swiftly and before Sungchan knew it, he was walking out, beginning the journey to his locker. Initially, it’d taken a while to leave the room, sticking around to discuss an upcoming assignment with the teacher— something he assumed Haechan would definitely describe as nerdy.

Once he’d finally gotten to his locker, grabbing what he needed and walking towards the school exit, he saw the commotion. There was a crowd of people surrounding something that he had to walk closer to see clearly. 

When he approached the crowd, his eyes almost bulged out of his head. Haechan was in there, surrounded by people who probably didn’t hold a care in the world for protecting either of them. 

Sungchan felt his heart drop in disappointment when a punch was thrown at the taller person from Haechan’s hand. 

It was only two weeks ago that Haechan got out of his suspension, and here he was, risking another one. He knew he was diving into something he might regret by getting involved, but he couldn’t stop himself from pushing through the crowd when the other boy threw a punch at Haechan.

“Hey!” He yelled, making both of them halt in their fury, looking directly at the source of the noise. Everyone was looking at Sungchan, but he was only looking at Haechan. 

He saw the others’ shoulders drop when they made eye contact— his angry eyes turning to ones that held guilt and shame.

“Everyone get lost!” 

Sungchan broke eye contact to make everyone leave, pointing away from the scene. They dispersed quickly as if scared of what Sungchan would do if they didn’t leave. The person who Haechan had been punching didn’t leave, so Sungchan took it upon himself to grab Haechan by the arm and drag him away from the scene.

“This isn’t over Haechan!” The other yelled. Sungchan watched the latters’ expression falter in despair at the comment, and Sungchan hated the thought that he was the cause of Haechan’s sad expression.

“Hey.” He nudged Haechan. “None of that fighting crap anymore, okay?”  
  
Haechan looked at him now, a mixture of energy and misery in his eyes. Instead of arguing, the smaller boy simply dropped his head and let Sungchan walk him home. For Haechan, this turn of events wasn’t normal; he never had someone to care for him when he got into fights before but for Sungchan, it hurt him to see Haechan get involved.

When they arrived at his house, Haechan thanked Sungchan for pulling him out of the fight.

“It’s fine.” Sungchan responded. “I didn’t like seeing you get hurt.”  
  
Haechan smiled, holding onto his door frame as Sungchan stood outside his front door. The younger shoved his hands into his pockets, rocking on his feet as he waited for Haechan to say something.

“Um.” Sungchan chose not to wait. “Who was that guy? And why were you fighting him?”  
  
Haechan sighed. “He’s an asshole, we always fight. His name’s Jungwoo, every time I see him he purposely provokes me, and it always ends in a fight.”  
  
“So he makes you angry and he does it on purpose?” Sungchan gathered. “That’s stupid, does he like getting his face punched?”  
  
Haechan laughed, leaning forward to grab Sungchan’s shoulder. The younger blushed at the contact and the fact that his dumb comments could elicit such happiness out of the elder.

He planned on heading home after making sure Haechan was home safe, but when the boy with sparkles in his eyes invited him inside, he couldn’t say no. He found himself upstairs, on the same couch that Haechan had tried to kiss him on, this time without a controller in his hand. 

The TV was playing back to back segments of Haechan’s favourite Netflix movies while Sungchan sat on the edge of the couch, watching intently to ignore the lingering look Haechan sent him every now and again. Knowing someone was staring at him and confronting that stare were two completely different things, and Sungchan preferred to ignore the confrontial part this time around. He’d done enough confronting today.

As time passed Haechan became quieter and quieter, choosing to fix his eyes on the movie. It made Sungchan relax a bit, knowing the eyes were off him but at the same time, he wanted the attention back, wanted the lingering feeling of excitement that overwhelmed him when Haechan focused on him.

“I should head home soon.” He said, making Haechan’s attention rip back onto him.

“Can you stay the night?” Haechan asked.

“What?” Sungchan blurted before he could stop himself. The question threw him off course completely.

Haechan sat up, sitting on the edge of the couch in a position that had his body facing Sungchan. Sungchan looked back at him curiously, feeling his eyebrows scrunch together.

“My parents aren’t coming home tonight. Sometimes I feel lonely here by myself.” 

Haechan looked down at his fingers to avoid the embarrassment of Sungchan’s stare. It was like the roles had reversed, and Sungchan wondered why that happened solely when it was just him and Haechan.

“I can stay.” Sungchan ended up saying, deciding he’ll just text his mother later to inform her. He supposed one night away from home wouldn’t hurt in comparison to her numerous nights at Hyerin’s place. 

They lounged around his house for a while, and Sungchan truly started to feel special. He was in Haechan’s house on the latters’ own accord because the elder didn’t want to be alone whilst Sungchan knew Haechan had a huge range of people who could keep him company. Putting the circumstances aside, Haechan still chose to ask him to stay over instead of letting him leave and calling someone else over. Not only that, he also asked Sungchan to sleepover. 

As far as Sungchan knew, Haechan’s house had three bedrooms, so he’d most likely sleep in a different room. The thought of sleeping in a different room didn’t intrigue him, but Haechan hadn’t mentioned sleeping arrangements yet so he willed himself to not jump to conclusions.

Haechan made him blush as his head found its way back to Sungchan’s shoulder, laying against it comfortably, after Sungchan focused on the movie playing ahead of them. Something about Haechan feeling comfortable enough to show him his favourite movies, and make Sungchan watch them stirred something in him. 

Haechan’s phone buzzed in his pocket, but when he pulled it out to check, he threw the phone to the other side of the couch almost immediately.

“Fucking Yoona again.” He tsked. Sungchan supposed Yoona was the girl who constantly came around.

“Same girl who wanted to have sex with you at the party on Saturday?” 

Haechan nodded. “She wants to come over. She needs to realise I don’t like her before I crack it.”  
  
“Well, have you told her you don’t like her?” 

Sungchan tried his absolute best to not get distracted by the feeling of Haechan’s breath on his neck. He was sure Haechan had no idea what he was doing to him, and he prayed he wouldn’t have to acknowledge their intimacy.

“Not really actually.” Haechan mumbled. “Guess I should do that.”  
  
Sungchan laughed. “That poor girl.”  
  
“Hey!” Haechan pouted. “What about me?”  
  
Sungchan laughed again, moving away so he could look into Haechan’s eyes. The latter was obviously teasing but regardless, Sungchan found his antics cute. 

Instead of justifying his question with a desired response, Sungchan shrugged. 

“What about you Haechan?” He said with a cheeky grin.  
  
“Oh, you’re so mean.” Haechan chuckled, looking away with his tongue pressing the side of his mouth. 

“I’m not the one picking fights.” Sungchan responded without dropping his smile, failing to notice Haechan’s smile faltering. 

“You really don’t like me doing that, do you?” Haechan asked, looking at the wall behind Sungchan to avoid the vulnerability in his eyes.

Sungchan placed his hand on Haechan’s thigh with a sigh. “I’m your friend Haechan. Friends care about each other and as far as I’m concerned, I care a lot about you. The last thing I want is for you to get suspended again or get punched in the face.”

When Sungchan examined Haechan’s presence again, he panicked.

Haechan was crying.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, standing up and turning away from Sungchan before the younger could say anything.

Sungchan stood up, pulling Haechan into a back hug, feeling warmth all throughout his body when Haechan turned around and buried his face in Sungchan’s neck. He held the boy there until he calmed down, missing the warmth of his body when they pulled away.

Haechan wiped his tears, apologising profusely for even letting emotion show.

“You don’t need to hide your feelings with me. We’re friends Haechan, and friends are there for each other.”  
  
When Haechan let more tears go, Sungchan realised why he didn’t want to spend the night alone.

—

“Where were you yesterday?” Jaemin walked up to the younger in their shared class, sliding into the seat beside him. “I texted you to see if you wanted to meet up.”  
  
Sungchan shrugged. “I was at Haechan’s place.”  
  
Jaemin nodded, a frown discerning his face. Sungchan brushed it off, too tired after staying up last night to make sure Haechan slept well, swiveling his body to the front of the room upon the teacher entering the room. 

Jaemin didn’t say another thing to him the whole lesson, but as they walked to their next class together, the elder nudged him.

“Be careful with him, okay?” 

“With who?”  
  
“Haechan.” Jaemin mumbled. “He’s more fragile than you think.”  
  
Sungchan nodded, parting ways with Jaemin as they neared the section that they had to go their separate ways. Sungchan kept those words on his mind for a while, realising last night was just the start to him learning about the real Haechan. He was finally getting his way with knowing the boy past his bad boy image, but now he started to wonder if he was ready for it.

Before he entered his next class, his phone buzzed and he pulled it out to see his mother texting him.

_‘Hyerin’s coming over for dinner tonight. Please dress nice and be home by 8pm again.’_

He responded affirmatively before entering his classroom, shoving his phone into his pocket again. It’d been a few weeks since he’d seen Hyerin, and he was excited to see her again but he also wondered if Haechan would want to meet up sometime today.

Before he could worry about that, he was walking to the lunch table he shared with the others, sitting with Jaemin and Chenle.

He knew Haechan came to school today, but he hadn’t seen him since this morning so he pondered on the idea that maybe Haechan left early; ditching wasn’t an uncommon occurrence with him. Sungchan just wished he would’ve told him.

“Hey.” Chenle nudged him. “What’s on your mind?”  
  
Sungchan wracked his brain for a lie. “I’ve got dinner with my mum and her girlfriend tonight, not sure how to act around her to be honest. I’ve only met her once.”

The others nodded, offering their advice while Sungchan poked his food around his plate. Chenle gave up once he realised Sungchan wasn’t particularly listening while Jaemin got distracted by his phone, smiling at the numerous texts that continued to ping through.

“Dude, stop texting Renjun when you go to the same school as him. Go find him for crying out loud.”  
  
“You guys are alright with me leaving to find him?” Jaemin asked. 

They both nodded, encouraging him to go have fun. He ran off with a smile, typing rapidly into his phone. Chenle sighed, looking back at Sungchan again.

“Hey, I know we aren’t super close, but you’ve been hanging around with Haechan a lot lately and as his best friend, I must know what the intentions are there.” Chenle said as soon as Jaemin was out of sight.

“Intentions?” Sungchan asked. He doesn’t have bad intentions with Haechan if that’s what Chenle meant.

Chenle stared at him. “Don’t play dumb. You like him, anyone who spends five minutes with the both of you would know that.”

Sungchan blushed. “What makes you think that I like him?”  
  
“You’re blushing.” Chenle pointed out, chuckling. 

He knew he liked Haechan, but admitting it to someone else was daunting. He didn’t know if Chenle would keep it hushed or not either.

“Would you tell anyone if I said I do?”  
  
Chenle laughed. “We’re not twelve anymore Sungchan. I’m not going to run off and tell every single person I know. Just know that Jaemin and I are protective of Haechan, and want you to be careful.”  
  
“Jaemin told me to be careful with him too.” Sungchan hummed. “What exactly do you guys mean by that?”

Sungchan thought he knew what it meant, but he wasn’t completely sure. He wanted to make sure they were on the same page with the interpretation of that advice.

“Haechan’s very out there.” Chenle began, looking slightly guilty. “Liking him can be dangerous because he isn’t very grounded and keeping up with him might be hard. I’m not saying he’s a bad person or anything, but he does things that might make it difficult for a relationship to function properly.”

“So you’re saying his past relationships ended because he did something messed up?” Sungchan questioned.

“He hasn’t been in an official relationship before.” Chenle stated. “Like I said, he’s too active, jumping from person to person to settle. The last time something got near serious he got into a fight with her older brother, and that put an end to it. What I’m saying is Haechan’s not easy to be with and as his friend, I don’t want to see him get hurt because I can tell already that he sees you differently than he sees his other friends.”

Sungchan tried to input the information, but he simply couldn’t wrap his head around the idea of Haechan seeing him in a non-platonic way. It sounded too good to be true.

“Don’t act like you don’t see it too.” Chenle glared. “He likes you Sungchan. Don’t mess that up.”

The bell for their next class interrupted their conversation, and left Sungchan sitting alone as he tried to comprehend Chenle’s words. He felt nervous at the thought of Haechan liking him back, because as far as experience goes, Sungchan had none. He didn’t want Haechan to stop liking him for that.

Sungchan realised Haechan hadn’t showed up to lunch, so he presumed the elder had actually left until he was sitting in his math class and Haechan took the seat beside him.

“Hey.” Haechan smiled.

“Where have you been all day?” Sungchan eyed Haechan’s neck, feeling a sense of relief at the lack of hickeys.

“With Yoona.” Haechan huffed. “She was in a _mood_ again, so I helped her with it.”

Sungchan cringed at the visual image Haechan’s words created in his head. The teacher had yet to enter the room, so he took that time to keep the conversation flowing.

“I don’t want to know more.” Sungchan chuckled through his cringe. “But I thought you were going to tell her you don’t like her.”

“I did.” Haechan responded nonchalantly. 

“And?” Sungchan stared. “Why were you still with her then?”  
  
Haechan looked at him with his tongue pushing against the side of his cheek. Sungchan blushed whenever he did that, it was somewhat intimidating but also attractive. Sungchan forced himself to look away from Haechan’s lips before it became weird.

“I just wanted a distraction I suppose.” He mumbled. “She’s good at distracting me.”  
  
Sungchan nodded, looking away to put an end to the conversation. He didn’t feel like learning more about Yoona, especially when he was extremely jealous of her now. 

Haechan shrugged it off, paying attention to the teacher who walked in moments ago. The lesson consisted of Sungchan paying attention whilst Haechan tried to get his attention. He tried his hardest to focus on the lesson, paying no mind to Haechan’s pokes and whispers until it became too much.

“What do you want Haechan?” He whispered.

“There’s a party at my friends house tonight, wanna come with me?”  
  
Sungchan thought about it for a moment. He didn’t like the idea of going to a party full of strangers again but Jaemin’s words filtered through his head at that moment. If Haechan went without him, he didn’t want to know what he’d get up to. 

“Sure.” He responded. “Where is it?”  
  
Haechan smirked. “I’ll pick you up from your house at eight.”

Just like that, Haechan focused on the lesson for the first time since it started and Sungchan was left trying to hide his blush.

Sungchan wondered if he’d ever be the person Haechan turns to for a distraction, thinking about how nice that would be. He wanted nothing more than to be special to Haechan, but he didn’t want to push it. It had to be natural or he knew it wouldn’t satisfy him.

The elder didn’t seem to notice Sungchan stuck in his thoughts until class ended and he glanced over at him.

“Hey.” Haechan nudged him again, smiling when he caught Sungchan’s attention. “See you later, alright?”  
  
Sungchan nodded, smiling naturally before gathering his things and leaving the classroom. He started his walk home again, hoping to get home quickly to search his closet for an outfit again.

—

He stood by the window that gave him the best view of his front yard, waiting for Haechan to show up. A smile graced him unintentionally when he recognised the car pulling up in front of his house. His mother wasn’t home yet again, but it didn’t phase him from climbing into Haechan’s car, feeling exhilarated at the prospect of spending the night with Haechan yet again.

“Hey.” He greeted, sliding into the passenger seat.

“You look nice.” Haechan observed, letting out a low snort at the blush that covered Sungchan’s cheek from the comment.

“Thanks.” Sungchan mumbled in return, focusing on the road ahead of them as Haechan began to drive.

The drive was quick, and Sungchan supposed it’s because everyone lived within the same vicinity as each other. He still had no idea whose house Haechan was taking him to, but he hoped that it’d be big like Haechan’s so he’d have space to escape if things became too much for him.

Sungchan wondered if anything would happen tonight that he didn’t want to. He realised he probably should’ve told Jaemin or Chenle about this, but he also wasn’t sure if they’d be there or not. 

As they approached the house, he felt Haechan’s hand slip into his for a moment, squeezing tightly before releasing.

“You seemed tense.” Haechan said when Sungchan gave him a questioning look. “Just relax tonight, you’re here to have fun.”  
  
Sungchan tried to have fun, he really did, but how could you have fun watching the person you like disappear to make out with some random girl? 

He sat on the couch, keeping himself on alert as he slowly sipped on a beverage that he picked up from the kitchen. When he’d been in the kitchen, his stomach had dropped as he watched Haechan pressing someone who certainly wasn’t Yoona against the counter with his lips attached to a spot that Sungchan could only imagine Haechan’s lips on.

Haechan had told him to relax, so he put his drink aside and headed to the back where people were jumping in the pool and playing beer pong again. House parties were so typical to him, it made him want to ask how people had fun here. As the games of beer pong progressed, Haechan showed up, visible hickeys on his neck that made all the drunk kids tease him.

Sungchan didn’t know what to think of Haechan when he smiled the teasing off, spotting Haechan’s dilated pupils from miles away, wondering why the boy even invited him here. Regardless, he didn’t make any moves to leave.

He was almost stuck in his own illusion that he was here for a reason and he couldn’t bring himself to let that illusion go. He couldn’t bring himself to go home and let the same thing occur from the last party he attended with Haechan. Last time, he’d run home after Haechan tried to kiss him but tonight he wasn’t going to push himself into the pain that was trudging home knowing he could’ve felt Haechan’s lips on his. 

Tonight was about giving Haechan the benefit of the doubt, and giving himself a chance. 

As more people started to turn up, Sungchan found himself abandoning the beer pong to sit on the couch again. This time, he wasn’t alone.

Yoona sat next to him, staring at her drink with a look that made him want to intervene and ask what was wrong. She looked sad, and he knew it probably had something to do with Haechan who stayed at the beer pong commotion even after seeing Sungchan walk away.

“Why are you staring at me?” She mumbled.

“You seem upset.” He said in return.” Are you okay?”  
  
“Like you’d care.” She bowed her head, still gripping her drink that was filled to the brim. Sungchan noticed tears well in her eyes and he realised she was crying. 

He’d been in this situation with his mother before, watching her cry uncontrollably on his fifteenth birthday from the stress of organising a party alone. He stood up immediately, offering a hand for her to follow him somewhere more private. Her face feigned fear, and he knew why but his intentions were just to keep her safe.

“I’m just going to take you somewhere less crowded.” He offered. “Trust me.”  
  
She nodded, taking his hand and following him out. They ended up next to Haechan’s car, Sungchan tried opening the boot but it was locked so they leaned against it, butts on the cold concrete.

“You don’t need to tell me what’s wrong.” He said. “But you can relax now.”  
  
“Why are you being so nice to me?” 

She looked at him with red rimmed eyes and smudged eye makeup that, in his opinion, added to her beauty. 

“Why would I be mean?” He responded. “You did nothing to deserve that.”  
  
She clicked her tongue, pushing a hand through her hair. “I’ve done plenty to deserve that. Not just to you, but to everyone.”  
  
Sungchan was aware that she was emotional, but he didn’t think she’d actually talk to him about it. There was hardly a trust barrier between them, and Sungchan knew he wouldn’t spill his problems to someone he didn’t trust. She remained quiet after he didn’t respond, and he decided to not push her to talk.

“Do you want a ride home?” He asked.

She laughed. “This is my house Sungchan.”  
  
 _Oh._ He didn’t expect that.

“Is that why you’re upset?” 

The clues in his head formed a perfect puzzle piece after receiving that information.

She was quiet again, not wanting to admit that Sungchan was right. She’d held a house party and invited Haechan, just for him to bring along Sungchan who she snapped at the other day and simultaneously leave Sungchan alone to make out with a girl who wasn’t Yoona. 

Sungchan was starting to wonder why he wanted to get closer with Haechan. Either there was a perfect explanation, or Sungchan was just overthinking the invalidity of his actions.

“You’re upset too, aren’t you?” She mumbled, staring at him.

Sungchan shrugged. “I’m his friend, there’s nothing for me to upset about.”  
  
She smirked. “But you want to be something else alongside being his friend, don’t you?”  
  
His breath caught in his lungs. Haechan was the first person he had romantic feelings for, and everyone around him figured it out just by observing him, which in his opinion was pretty annoying. He wanted to know what about his actions made him so easy to read.

“I’m going to my bedroom, thanks for looking out for me tonight.” She said. “I’m sorry for snapping at you the other day by the way, I knew you two hadn’t done anything because Haechan complained to me that you didn’t let him. If I’m being completely honest, I was just trying to set you guys up, I know it was an absurd way to do it but I didn’t really have much to go off.”  
  
He nodded, filtering her words through his tired brain. All this information was overwhelming, he just had one question on his mind that had yet to be answered. _Why was Haechan kissing other people when he could be kissing him?_  
  
Yoona walked away, entering her house again and disappearing upstairs. Sungchan entered the kitchen, immediately grabbing another drink, standing against the counter alone until a presence slid next to him.

“Hey.” 

Haechan breathed a little too close to Sungchan’s neck. It sent shivers down his spine, but didn’t stop him from leaning into it.

“Having fun?” He asked, forcing a smile towards the smaller boy. 

Haechan was grinning like he’d just won the lottery, and Sungchan knew it was thanks to the alcohol. 

“I got into a fight again.” He slurred.

“What?” Sungchan looked at him with the same intense stare Haechan presented when they first met.

His eyes cast downwards and Sungchan felt Haechan’s heart beating in his chest as he used Sungchan for balance. Their mouths were so close, their breaths mingled as Haechan curled his fingers around Sungchan’s shirt, near his waist.

“Someone said you’re lame.” He mumbled. “So I punched them.”

“Why would you do that?” 

Sungchan hissed, feeling the guilt of him being the cause. Haechan didn’t present any scratches or bruises on himself, so Sungchan wondered who he’d punched.

“It’s fine, they didn’t punch back.” He smiled drunkenly again. “They scrammed as soon as I swung. My head hurts though, wanna get out of here?”

“Where would we go?” Sungchan gripped Haechan’s waist to keep him from stumbling.

“My place.” 

He grabbed Sungchan’s hand, pulling him out of the house, towards his car. Sungchan refused to let Haechan drive as he was drunk, so he took the keys and drove. 

It was a quiet drive, with Haechan leaning his head against the window to cool down. Sungchan took the time to let himself play with the possibility of something coming out of being alone with Haechan, but let the idea disperse when he remembered Haechan was drunk.

“I saw you with Yoona.” Haechan broke the silence. “What was that about?”

“She was crying, so I was making sure she was okay.” Sungchan responded. Haechan nodded, staring out the window.

The air stood still until the car stopped, and Sungchan felt like something was sitting at the tip of his tongue that he just couldn’t bring himself to phrase out loud. Maybe it was a confession, maybe it was complaints about Haechan’s behaviour that he had ready to hurl at the elder in an attempt to release all the angsty thoughts he had clouding his head.

As they entered the house, Sungchan turned his phone on again, panicking when it was filled with calls and messages from his mother. _Fuck._ He was supposed to be home for dinner two hours ago. Being with Haechan made it all slip his mind.

“I need to call my mum.” He stated, sitting on Haechan’s couch. “I forgot I was supposed to be at dinner tonight because she had someone coming over again.”

“Oh.” Haechan mumbled. “Do you have to leave?”

He shrugged. “The visitor is her girlfriend so I think she might appreciate that I wasn’t there. Plus it’s been hours since I was supposed to be home so I don’t need to rush home, dinners over by now.”

Haechan smiled, resting his chin on the edge of his bed while Sungchan sat with his knees pressing into the couch so he could look at Haechan. 

“I’m glad.” Haechan’s voice sounded less slurred as he sobered up. “I didn’t want you to leave.”

Sungchan blushed, pressing the phone to his ear and turning around as he dialled his mother. She picked up after a few rings, immediately questioning where he’d been.

“I went to a party with a friend, I’m sorry I forgot that I had to be home tonight.”

 _“Where are you now?”_ She spoke into the phone. Sungchan let himself relax at her relaxed tone, knowing she just cared about making sure he was okay now.

“I’m at Haechan’s now.” He replied. “I’ll probably sleep over, is that okay?”

_“Yeah, have fun. Just be home tomorrow.”_

They hung up moments later and Sungchan focused his attention on Haechan again.

“I wanna sleep.” Haechan started immediately.

“You can do whatever you want, just don’t destroy anything please.”

Sungchan nodded, sliding his phone into his pocket again. As Haechan slept, he gave himself time to think about the day and his feelings.

However, being practically alone in the house of the guy he wants to be intimate with was enough to deflate him. There had to be something better he could be doing right now; something along the lines of intimacy was exactly what he wanted to be doing right now. 

Haechan laid soundly on his bed, curled under the covers as he let light huffs of breath out. He was adorable when he slept, Sungchan concluded although this wasn’t the first time he’d seen Haechan sleep. He wondered if everyone spends a period of time tip-toeing around their crush in situations that he certainly wouldn’t be in with a friend.

He wanted to ask exactly what he was to Haechan, but the words that had been on the tip of his tongue earlier were wasted now that Haechan was asleep. He didn’t have the heart to wake Haechan up for something that could wait. 

Instead of venturing around the house, he took his jacket off and slid into the bed beside Haechan. The first time he’d slept over, Haechan had slept on his couch and let Sungchan take the bed. Now he didn’t have much of a say where Sungchan slept now.

Sungchan faced away from Haechan, realising how awkward it’d be if he woke up to Sungchan in his face. It pained him to close his eyes and not admire Haechan, but he couldn’t help it when sleep took over his body.

—

Waking up to an empty bed on a school day in a house that wasn’t his certainly wasn’t how Sungchan thought his morning would go, but the smell of delicious pancakes in the kitchen was enough to make up for the lack of warmth. He bounced into the kitchen, expecting to find Haechan making pancakes, surprise rifling through him when it wasn’t Haechan, but a lady who Sungchan embarrassingly towered over in height. 

She looked like a spitting image of the boy who made Sungchan’s heart race. He concluded that this must be Haechan’s mother. He didn’t expect this to be how they’d meet, but it didn’t stop him from going forward, making his presence known.

“Oh, hello.” She looked up, hardly getting a scare. “Who are you?”

“Haechan’s friend.” He bowed. “Jung Sungchan. It’s nice to meet you, sorry for staying the night without permission.”

She waved him off with a kind scoff. “If Haechan allowed it, then I allow it too. Now sit down sweetheart, I’ll cook some for you. Haechan’s just taking a shower upstairs, he’ll be out soon.”

Sungchan nodded, smiling gratefully at the lady before sitting at the eating table that looked incredible compared to the one he had at home. At the thought of his home, he pulled his phone out and texted his mother, asking if they could spend dinner together tonight to make up for him missing last nights’ dinner.

Sungchan gulped when Haechan’s mother began asking him questions about how he’d met Haechan. He didn’t quite know what she thought of their friendship, but he did know that the smirk lingering on her face wasn’t normally how parents react to their child having a friend sleep over.

Sungchan hadn’t told his mother about his feelings for Haechan, but she certainly knew about him being in her sons’ life so he wondered if Haechan had ever mentioned him to his mother.

“Don’t tell him I said this.” She started. “But thank you for pulling him out of fights. He’s never been good with self control, so I’m really glad he has someone to keep him out of trouble. Hopefully it isn’t a burden on you though.”

Sungchan grinned with a small blush creeping to his cheeks as he realised that Haechan had in fact talked to her about him. The atmosphere was comfortable despite them just meeting, and Sungchan realised he might end up in this situation again in future.

“Of course.” He responded. “I’m quite the opposite of a bad boy and fights are just horrible messes that no one needs. Plus I don’t want him suspended again, or badly injured.”

“You seem to care about him a lot considering you just met a month ago.” She smirked again, giving him a knowing stare.

He couldn’t hold back his blush anymore, but he could try to defend himself and deny whatever she was thinking. After all, it was pretty embarrassing to confess his feelings to Haechan’s mother upon their first meeting.

“I don’t like him like that if that’s what you think.” He affirmed.

“I didn’t say you did.” She smiled, flipping a pancake again. “But your answer tells me all I need to know.”

She laughed when his mouth fell open, realising his mistake in jumping to conclusions. He didn’t expect her to be so calm about it, but it was nice at the same time. She was one of those parents who didn’t fawn over controlling their child; just like Sungchan’s mother. He wondered why Haechan didn’t talk about her more.

“I wish you luck in getting together with him, he really needs someone to keep him grounded.” She sat opposite Sungchan, placing the stack of pancakes on the table, offering him a plate to begin eating. “I don’t want you to be burdened by taking care of him though. Relationships shouldn’t be one sided.”  
Her words felt like a lecture, so he searched his brain for the right words to meet her with. 

He nodded. “Thanks for the advice.”

They ate in silence until the front door opened and Sungchan was met with Haechan’s father. He tried his hardest to stop his eyes from bulging out of his head as the man pointed at him with a confused expression, asking who he was and why he was in his house when he should be at school.

Sungchan saw Haechan’s mother jump to answer, but she was interrupted by Haechan’s presence waltzing into the room from down the hallway. His hair was wet, but still fell like it usually did. He looked cute with his hair falling softly like a puppy, and his clothes clinging to him as it was most definitely too tight for him.

Sungchan gaped at how he managed to look so attractive in the casualest of clothes. 

As if Haechan had heard everything, he took a seat next to Sungchan, leaning over to plant a big kiss on his cheek.

“Dad, this is Sungchan, my boyfriend.” He smiled.

Sungchan could no longer hold back his eyes from bulging out his head, as well as the coughing that ensued seconds after that statement. Haechan patted him on the back, smile failing to falter from his lips as Haechan’s mother looked extremely surprised, due to her previous conversation with Sungchan. His father looked surprised too, but shrugged it off to sit down and enjoy breakfast.

Sungchan didn’t realise they’d be so calm when technically, this is the first relationship Haechan has been in. He wondered if maybe in the past, Haechan had brought people over and introduced them to his parents too. 

Jaemin and Chenle’s words lingered in the back of his head as he silently ate the pancakes, trying his hardest to ignore Haechan’s leg caressing up and down the back of his leg. It was like the elder found excitement in making Sungchan fidget. 

When the food was finished, Haechan jumped up, grabbing Sungchan’s hand. “We’ll be off to school now.”

His parents nodded, wishing them a fun day before beginning to pack up the dishes. Sungchan barely had a chance to say goodbye before Haechan was pulling him out of the door and towards his car.

“What was that?” Sungchan demanded as they walked to the car.

When Haechan ignored him, he pulled their hands apart which made the elder stop and focus on him. There was a fire in Haechan’s eyes that made something coil in Sungchan’s stomach and cower over even if Haechan was smaller.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Haechan’s expression was unreadable. Sungchan swore Haechan’s eyes dropped to his lips before it lifted to meet the taller boys’ eyes again.

“Why’d you say I’m your boyfriend?” Sungchan asked, trying to maintain the fierceness from before whilst noticing their commotion could be seen by his parents inside. 

The time stood still as he waited for Haechan’s answer. He realised all the time he spent trying to figure out where he stood with Haechan was going to be confirmed for him right now. Chenle and Jaemin’s advice flew out of his head and he was left with nothing but a speedy heartbeat and uneasy stomach as he waited for Haechan to speak.

His heart rate sped up as he was met with something even better than words. Haechan’s lips hovered over his without an ounce of hesitation. He waited for Haechan to continue, to press his lips against Sungchan’s, so he could know what his lips feel like on his. That feeling never came, but regardless he couldn’t stop himself from blushing even when Haechan moved away again, leaving his lips with a ghostly tingle. 

They climbed into Haechan’s car, beginning the silent drive to their school. Sungchan’s head was all over the place thanks to Haechan’s teasing. When the car came to a stop and Haechan got out, he took a moment to recognise the environment around himself, wishing to skip class so he could feel Haechan’s lips on his.

“Are you coming?” Haechan asked, eyeing his seatbelt that was still clicked in.

Sungchan looked at him for a moment before blushing. “Yeah.”

They walked into school together but Sungchan ignored the looks others gave him. This was the first time they did this, and he knew people would be surprised but he felt a sense of pride that he was the one who Haechan chose to be close to. When they arrived at the lockers, Haechan lingered next to him for longer than Sungchan expected him to.

“What?” He mumbled, feeling small under Haechan’s stare.

Haechan hummed, shaking his head. “I just wish I didn’t have to be stuck in this hellhole all day when we could spend time together, alone.”

Sungchan bit back his smile at the suggestive meaning behind the words, proceeding to shove his things into his locker. 

Haechan’s words toyed with his heart and made him question what was becoming of his life. He wanted to know what Haechan’s deal was, and why Jaemin said he was fragile, Sungchan found it hard to believe that Haechan had an ounce of fragility. 

“I’ll see you after school, Haechan.” Sungchan smiled, patting his hyung on the head before walking to class.

School passed excruciatingly slow, and Sungchan wanted nothing more than to just be with Haechan again. His classes consisted of the teachers talking the entire time, so it allowed him to think about his life and how Haechan was becoming a big part of it so quickly. He was excited to see what would become of their friendship in the near future.

The next time he saw Haechan was after school as they walked out of their last periods. Time stilled again when they caught each others’ eye, making Sungchan feel like they were the only two in the room.

Sungchan smiled, apprehending Haechan’s next move. The other kids watched them interact, but Sungchan paid no mind to them. He knew he should care about the prying eyes, but he couldn’t bring himself to when Haechan was looking at him like he was the only person who mattered.

He felt lucky to have Haechan, and to be close to the latter. He just hoped Haechan felt lucky too.

“Jaemin and Chenle are coming over again today.” Haechan skipped over to him, looking up at him with a smile. “Wanna join?”

“Can’t.” He pouted. “My mum and I are having a special dinner together tonight, it’s been ages since we had dinner together. Maybe I can come over afterwards though.”

He smiled when Haechan blushed. He still didn’t understand how he could be deemed the bad boy when he was so impossibly adorable. Maybe having feelings for him gave Sungchan a biased view, but even so, the thought of Haechan being a bad boy was one that made him laugh.

Walking home alone gave him time to think about his relationship with Haechan, but it also made him realise how he does more thinking than _doing_ when it comes to Haechan. He made a small promise to himself that he’d go over and confront Haechan about everything. He wanted to discuss the near kiss, and at least come to a mutual agreement regarding what they are instead of being in the dark and having to guess each others’ feelings and intentions. 

When he finally arrived home, his mother was in the kitchen, cooking for dinner.

“Hi mum.” 

He walked into the kitchen with a smile, placing his bag down.

“Hi Sungchan.” She responded, standing in front of the stove. He’d hung around the strip of shops that held the coffee shop he entered a few weeks ago before coming home, so it was dark outside and he was just in time for dinner. 

“How was your day?” He asked, sitting at the table.

“Just fine.” She responded. “Work was busy, nothing else happened. What about yours?” 

Moving around the kitchen affluently made him realise how relaxed she was. There was something about her actions that were different, she was moving with a new spring in her step.

“Well.” He smirked, sitting at the table. “After dinner is it okay for me to go over to someone’s house?”

She turned around, raising an entertained eyebrow to ask him to elaborate. He tried to bite back a smile but knew she’d read it as nervousness as he always did it out of habit when he was nervous.

“Haechan’s house.” He said. “He invited me over but I turned it down so we could have dinner together.”

“You want to go over after dinner?” She asked, eyebrows still raised.

He nodded. “If that’s alright by you. I know I haven’t been home much these days, so it’s fine if you want me to stay.”

She nodded, not taking her eye away from the food. “You can go Sungchan-ah, don’t let me hold you back from your friends and life.”

“That’s not how you should see it.” Sungchan frowned. “You’re my mother, you come before my friends.”

She moved towards him, placing her hands on his cheeks and making him focus on her. He felt like a little kid all over again, remembering when she’d cup his cheeks and place a kiss on his forehead before lulling him to sleep.

“Your life doesn’t revolve around catering for your mother Sungchan.” She said. “As much as I’d love to have you around all the time, you need to realise that you aren’t responsible for keeping me company. I promise that I can handle a few nights with you going out, as long as you’re safe.”

He nodded, watching her move back to the stove just to pull his phone out as he waited for the food. She stayed at the stove until the food was done, humming and occasionally talking to Sungchan. 

He decided to text Haechan after staring at their previous texts and see what he was up to. Minutes into their conversation, he was smiling like a lovesick fool, feeling himself yearn for Haechan’s presence again.

All this was so new to Sungchan, but he was immensely grateful. Everything about Haechan was comfortable even if his image said it shouldn’t be. Sungchan couldn’t bring himself to be intimidated by the latter just because he got in fights and had a temper. There was just something about their dynamics that made Sungchan forget about the latters’ image.

His mother placed the food on the table and sat down opposite him, talking about work and her relationship with Hyerin, informing him that she was planning on spending the weekend with her. They’d organised a date that would run across Saturday and seep into Sunday so they were spending the night together at a hotel. Sungchan smiled and asked her to spare him the details, to which she laughed and scolded him lightly afterwards.

Being with his mother was important to Sungchan, and he wanted to introduce Haechan to her as soon as possible. He’d spent his whole life with her as his role model, and the only significant adult figure around him so her approval of the other people in his life was important to him. 

His mother moved to the kitchen again, packing the dishes away as Sungchan rushed to his room to change into new clothes. He came out again when he was satisfied with his outfit.

“Are you off now?” She asked, smiling at him.

He nodded hastily. “Do I look alright?”  
  
“Dressed to perfection.” She responded with a giggle, making Sungchan playfully roll his eyes. 

Trust his mother to relax his nerves through jokes. He knew he was good at hiding his emotions, but as her son, she could read him no matter how hard he tried to hide his feelings. It was just a mothers’ speciality. 

“Don’t stress too much.” She said. “Haechan will like you no matter what you wear.”

He gaped in shock, realising yet another person was able to see right through his feelings for the elder. It was like he was an open book to everyone but himself. By the looks of it, Haechan probably saw right through him too. 

She laughed. “Don’t tell me you thought I didn’t know you like him.”

“I was guessing everyone doesn’t unless I’ve told them, but I’m realising now how wrong I was.” He cringed, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

She smiled again, and he relaxed a bit, returning the warm smile. He wanted to tell her in his own time about whatever is going on between him and Haechan, so he didn’t expect for her to figure it out on her own so soon.

“I know I was jumping to conclusions a bit so I didn’t bring it up, but I can tell when you have something to tell me.” She said.

Sungchan smiled awkwardly. “Well, you approve of it right?”

“Of course I do.” She scoffed. “Just don’t get yourself hurt or break his heart.”

“Will do.” He nodded. “I’ll be off now.”

His trek to Haechan’s house was serene and quiet. It allowed time for Sungchan to think of how he’s going to act around Haechan now that there was an additional meaning to every one of their exchanges. 

He didn’t know how the others would feel about the minor advances in his friendship with Haechan, especially thanks to Chenle telling him that Haechan had never dated before. He guessed there wouldn’t be a problem with it considering they were already giving him advice regarding Haechan. 

The thought of Haechan not dating before arose in his mind, and lingered there for a while. He assumed the only involvement Haechan had with romance was making out with girls like Yoona in the darkness of parties as he got himself drunk. It was more than Sungchan had ever done, but he didn’t care too much anymore, after all there was usually a first for everything.

Stepping into Haechan’s house, he felt like something was off. As he delved deeper into the house, he started to hear shouts that sounded like Jaemin and Haechan, but he didn’t understand why they’d be shouting so he followed the voices until he wound up in front of Haechan’s room. Chenle sat on the edge of the couch, focused on anything but the commotion occurring behind him.

“Why do you never listen to us!” Jaemin yelled, anger dripping in his voice.

“You aren’t in control of me! This is my life Jaemin.” Haechan yelled back. 

They stood face to face, nearly clashing heads and Sungchan worried that a punch would be thrown soon if they kept it up. Their faces feigned more anger than he’d ever seen on either of them, and Sungchan wondered what could’ve provoked something like this, and why Chenle wasn’t stepping in.

“Hey.” He called from the entrance, making all three heads turn to him. “What the hell is going on?”

Chenle turned away again, while Jaemin looked back at Haechan with the same angry expression as before. Haechan met Sungchan’s eyes, feeling a flicker of calmness erupt through him at the latters’ presence. Sungchan held back a smile when he saw Haechan’s shoulders visibly drop and his eyes relax.

“What’s going on?” He repeated, looking at Jaemin now.

“This asshole got into another fight after promising me that he’d stop fighting with people!” Jaemin yelled, shoving his index finger into Haechan’s chest with enough strength to make Haechan stumble backwards. “He’s always so selfish, causing problems when he doesn’t need to and he never listens to a single thing I say!”

“It isn’t your business to meddle in Jaemin! You’re my friend, I’m not your responsibility!” Haechan fought back, pushing his finger away.

“But don’t you see? I care about you Donghyuck, that’s what friends are fucking for!” Jaemin stormed out upon finishing his sentence. Sungchan moved aside as Jaemin pushed his way through the door, anger dripping from his every pore.

“Wow.” Chenle said. “You know you’ve fucked up when he uses your birth name.” 

“Shut up Chenle.” 

Haechan sighed, flopping onto his bed.

Sungchan stood by the door, still in a bit of shock at the turn of events. Chenle sighed, getting off the couch and walking towards Sungchan. He laid his hand on Sungchan’s shoulder, looking up at the taller boy.

“Take care of him, don’t let him do anything stupid.” Chenle whispered. “I’ll take care of Jaemin. Don’t worry too much, this has happened before.”  
  
Sungchan nodded as Chenle walked out, leaving him alone with Haechan. He wondered why it’s happened before, and why it’s happening again but it was all still too big of a muddle for him to make sense of.

Hesitantly, Sungchan sat on the edge of the bed, looking at Haechan with curious eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Haechan mumbled, staring dully at his lap.

“Why are you sorry?” Sungchan furrowed his eyebrows, taking control of the situation by grabbing Haechan’s hands. His touch was soft and made Haechan immediately melt into the touch.

“Didn’t mean for you to see that.” He mumbled, voice gruff.

Sungchan let out a small chuckle. “You don’t need to protect me from yourself. You’re the last person I need protection from.”

Sungchan liked to believe that he was the exception to Haechan’s bad boy image.

“Still.” Haechan mumbled. “I don’t want you to think I’m an asshole who goes around starting fights.”  
  
Sungchan’s heart broke at the boys’ tone. He sounded so defeated, Sungchan wanted to pull him close and transfer all his energy to him. 

Haechan was clearly tired and he needed someone to ground him.

Sungchan placed his hand around Haechan’s neck, gently pulling the latters’ head onto his shoulder. Haechan immediately pushed his face into the crook of Sungchan’s neck, inhaling deeply at the comforting feeling of Sungchan’s arms wrapped around his body securely, as they both sat on Haechan’s bed.

“I don’t think that at all Haechan.” Sungchan mumbled into his hair, keeping his hands at bay on the elders’ waist. “If anything I don’t understand how you can be deemed a bad boy when you’re so small and, well, fragile.”

Haechan left out a laugh against Sungchan’s chest, making his whole body shiver from the sensation. Haechan moved away from leaning on his chest, and stared into Sungchan’s eyes.

“This morning, when I told my parents that you’re my boyfriend, why didn’t you deny it?”  
  
“Well, it’s a bit awkward to deny something like that in front of your parents.” Sungchan tilted his head, smiling playfully at Haechan. “But honestly, I didn’t deny it because I wouldn’t mind it being true.”

—

The next time Sungchan caught a glimpse of Haechan was at another party. He’d gotten a text hours beforehand as he did homework on his Saturday afternoon, begging him to attend. Instantly upon entry, he regretted giving in to Haechan. 

The party was filled with people that it was almost impossible for Sungchan to freely move around, which is something he’s always hated. He needed space, and these people provide none of that. Haechan didn’t even realise he was here as he was too busy being the center of attention once again.

Sungchan watched from afar as people chanted at Haechan to drink more, compete more, do more until it satisfied their fixed persona of him that Sungchan could see was not Haechan. This was the bad boy who Haechan presented to please the crowd, and it made Sungchan sick to his stomach. He wanted Haechan to live truthfully, less restricted— but the statement in his head sounded selfish. He couldn’t make Haechan live without the burden of an image just because _he_ lives without the burden of an image.

It’s purely unfair, but it didn’t stop Sungchan from wishing Haechan didn’t have the weight of that image on his shoulders. He wished that Haechan could simply live, and wouldn’t have to worry about acting tough or cold.

The night seeped further into darkness, and Sungchan stuck around despite hating every second of it, solely to make sure Haechan was safe. He knew his actions were easily penetrated by Jaemin and Chenle who were also there, sporting a cup of alcohol as they carried a conversation next to Sungchan. They could see from a mile away that Sungchan didn’t want to be here; and the whole reason he wasn’t engaging in their conversation was because he was focused on something else.

His eyes lingered across the room, out the window, into the backyard where Haechan was still surrounded by people, competing in a drinking competition with whoever stepped up to challenge him. He could see that Haechan was having fun, not caring about the quantum of alcohol his body was absorbing, whilst taking control of his actions and making him stumble through the next competitions.

“I’m going out there.” 

Sungchan decided, putting his cup down somewhere where he knew he wouldn’t retrieve it again. 

Jaemin and Chenle paused their conversation to look at the taller, yet younger, boy, bewildered by his words. Jaemin had a frustrated expression underlying his current one, that Sungchan knew was because of his fight with Haechan that had yet to be resolved.

“And do what exactly?” Chenle snickered.

“Make him stop.” Sungchan stated, not taking his eyes off Haechan. “He’s going to black out if he keeps drinking.”  
  
Jaemin simply nodded, telling him to go while Chenle became silent, an unreadable expression smitten on his face as both boys watched Sungchan walk outside towards the scene of drunk kids who continued to cheer Haechan’s irrational ways on. 

Without hesitation, he pushed through the people who moved without question, far too drunk to question it, and grabbed Haechan by his arm, walking away with him in tow. Haechan followed reluctantly, trying to grab the bottle before Sungchan dragged him away.

“Hey.” Sungchan grabbed it. “No more alcohol. You’re drunk enough.”  
  
“You’re not responsible for me Sungchan.” Haechan slurred, trying to release the latters’ strong grip on his arm.

He continued pulling Haechan into the house, dragging him upstairs to his bedroom. Jaemin and Chenle smirked at him as he walked past them, but he simply shoved the bottle into their hands, whilst making sure Haechan didn’t escape from his hold.

“You’ve got to stop saying that to people who care about you.” He mumbled as they continued to walk. 

He wanted to understand why Haechan didn’t want anyone to be responsible for him whilst putting himself in situations where he physically couldn’t be responsible for himself. It was irrational and dumb, and Sungchan wanted him to stop it before it got out of hand.

When they entered the room, it was empty, sitting still as if it was awaiting Haechan’s presence. The bed was perfectly made but Haechan flopped on it immediately, messing up the sheets and making Sungchan giggle at how much of a drunk mess he was.

“Why’d you pull me away?” He asked, a frown discerning his pretty face. Sungchan wanted to wipe it off with his lips.

He sighed instead, sitting on the part of the bed that wasn’t being consumed by Haechan. “Someone needed to stop you. Do you even recall how many drinks you had?”  
  
Haechan shook his head, staring at the floor. His face read disappointment and suddenly Sungchan felt guilty. It seemed crazy to him that Haechan could make him feel guilty for pulling him away from the fun even if he knew he was doing the right thing.

“Thirteen in thirty minutes.” Sungchan said. 

“Oh.” Haechan’s eyes remained fixed on the floor. “Well, thank you then. Again, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”  
  
“You’ve never said that before.” Sungchan laughed, watching Haechan crack a smile.

“I’ve thought it before.” He said, pulling the blankets over himself to get into a comfortable sleeping position.

Haechan’s words had caused a pit of nerves to erupt through Sungchan’s gut, but it dispersed as he returned to his other friends. Sungchan closed the door as discreetly as possible, smiling to himself whilst walking down the hallway.

“You aren’t staying with him?” Chenle asked.

Sungchan simply smiled. “He’s asleep. Besides, he doesn’t need me.”  
  
The words took both boys by surprise, Sungchan knew it would, but they didn’t make any moves to deny it. 

Sungchan wanted to deflate at their reluctance to deny it, but shook it off instead, knowing from their expressions that his words shocked them. Their shock was enough for Sungchan to know that they didn’t think his words were true. He was socially aware enough to know Haechan needed him, and had enough confidence to accept that Haechan knew it too.

Without him, Haechan gave in to his bad boy image and let it consume him.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/aurensle?s=21) [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/aurensle)


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw/tws: mentions of sexual abuse/assault, homophobia/verbal homophobic attack, physical fights, alcohol, mentions of drugging someone.
> 
> thank you for the support with chapter one, i hope you all enjoy what this chapter has to offer. it'll be the last thing i post in 2020, and while this chapter is nearly half the wc of chapter one i'm happy with this and hope everyone enjoys :] i've also started to create a playlist for this fic, and i suppose i'll post it once i get more than 4 songs in it lol
> 
> enjoy and happy new year!

Confusion was the only word to describe how Sungchan felt.

A day after that party, Yoona accompanied Haechan nearly everywhere. Lunchtimes with his friends, she was there. Walking in and out of school, she was beside him. Sungchan was jealous, but he was also confused. He wanted to be beside Haechan.

“Hey.” Jaemin ran up to him in the corridor. “Come to Haechan’s tonight, we’ll all be there.”

He nodded, continuing to shove his books into his locker. Jaemin left again with a happy stride in his step, running into Renjun who caught him in his arms. Sungchan watched them hug and walk off together, frowning to himself as he asked why he couldn’t have that with Haechan.

When he turned up to Haechan’s house later that day, he didn’t expect it to be as quiet as it was. He told himself to continue searching for Haechan until he ended up in the backyard, staring at Haechan who was swimming eloquently in the pool.

“What are you doing here?” 

Haechan pulled himself out of the pool, raking a hand through his wet hair as the droplets fell on his exposed chest and torso. Sungchan stared at his body, eyes slowly lifting to Haechan’s face, that held raised eyebrows and a smirk.

“Jaemin told me to come over.” Sungchan realised it was probably a set up.

Haechan reached for a towel, drying his hair. Sungchan simply watched, trying his best to not drool at the sight of a shirtless Haechan. His body was immaculate and Sungchan just wanted to put his hands all over it, and learn every inch and every crevice of Haechan’s body.

“I didn’t invite anyone over.” Haechan said. “I don’t know why he sent you but c’mon, let’s go to my room.”

Sungchan shrugged. “Alright.”

Haechan started changing into new clothes as soon as they entered the room, and Sungchan again found himself blushing furiously at the sight. The last time Haechan changed in front of him, he’d been caught staring, but this time he was adamant to not let that happen. 

“Now that I think about it, we need to discuss the whole fake boyfriend thing before my parents get suspicious.”

“What do you mean?”   
  
Sungchan knew what he meant, but he didn’t know what else to say. It still hadn’t registered with him that Haechan’s parents saw them as boyfriends because it was a complete lie and the thought just brought Sungchan pain. He wanted to know what being Haechan’s boyfriend entailed, but he wanted it to be real. 

“I don’t want them to know that I lied.” Haechan said. “So we need to plan how we’ll date. You up for that?”   
  
Sungchan nodded, not thinking too much into it. He supposed it’d be fun to fake it, after all, it was better than nothing. He’d take Haechan in any way he could.

“Well ground rules, no sex and no kissing unless it’s in front of them.”   
  
“You want to kiss in front of your parents?”   
  
Haechan cringed. “Ok, maybe just no kissing then. But we can hold hands and pretend to be boyfriends easily in front of them. Just no using your height against me either.”   
  
“How would I do that?” Sungchan laughed, turning around to see Haechan fully clothed and staring at him from behind. He grabbed the back of his head, assuming something was on there but blushed when he found nothing. Haechan blushed too.

Haechan sat next to him, putting the TV on and resting his head on Sungchan’s shoulder. His question went unanswered.

  
  
  


“I’m home!” He threw his backpack under the table next to the door, catching a glimpse of himself in the small mirror that sat on the table. His blush still lingered on his pale cheeks.

When he ventured further into the house, he found his mother sitting with a coffee in hand beside Hyerin. She smiled at her son before gesturing at him to take a seat.

“Hello Sungchan,” Hyerin greeted with a sweet smile, “It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you, have you perhaps grown taller?”   
  
“I don’t think I can get any taller than I already am.” He chuckled, feeling a bit of that guilt from earlier replacing itself with warmth from the company of his mother and her date. 

They talked for a while around the kitchen table, and Sungchan finally felt a sense of relief as they distracted him from the monstrosity that was his dilemma with a particular sun-kissed, brown eyed boy who made his lips tingle and heart thump. He wondered how long they’d keep up this fake thing, and if it’d provide his feelings any benefits.

Hyerin stayed for dinner, discreetly holding his mother’s hand whenever she felt like it. He would say it was cute if it wasn’t his mother in the mix, but aside from that, their relationship really was cute and Sungchan hoped Hyerin would make his mother happy and treat her better than his father did.

Sungchan didn’t have much recollection of his father, barely being capable of remembering any memories with him as he left when Sungchan could hardly grasp the world around him. His mother had tried her best to not mention him as he grew up, completely erasing him from his life, but as he got older, he understood why.

His father wasn’t someone Sungchan could be proud of, and he was mostly glad that he wasn’t in his life. He was happy with his mother, and he knew he would be happy with Hyerin joining the family now that he’s met her and seen that she’s good for his mother. She was someone who made the atmosphere more comfortable and treated Sungchan well, he was slowly starting to recognise her as someone he could lean on if he needed to.

When Hyerin departed back to her place, his mother turned to him with a concerned look.

“What?” He asked.

“You were awfully late today.” She noted. “Where’d you go?”

“The library.” He responded. “I have a Chemistry test tomorrow.”   
  
She nodded, wishing he’d told her sooner. It was his business now, and she didn’t need to meddle but she wanted to know if he was coming home late or not to ensure his safety and to know he’s staying out of trouble.

“I’ll be off to bed then.” She said, patting his head before walking off.

He resided in his room, throwing books across his desk, making it look like he was studying in case his mother walked in. Usually when she goes to bed, she sleeps right away, so he didn’t have to worry but he just wanted to be sure that his lie was backed up. 

He didn’t feel like explaining that he was actually at Haechan’s as she would’ve given him the same suggestive looks from the last time they discussed his feelings for Haechan. He was too confused about Haechan to want to discuss it with his mother right now.

Whilst his books laid out across the wooden desk, Sungchan laid on his bed, phone in hand as he scrolled through Haechan’s socials. The elder wasn’t super active with posting on Instagram, but there were quite a few posts from over the years. He didn’t have a theme or anything, simply posting whatever he felt necessary to show. 

Sungchan’s favourite post was on Jaemin’s Instagram. A close up photo of Haechan sleeping peacefully with his mouth slightly parted. It looked like it’d been taken on a professional camera based on the details and how it didn’t look like something snapped in a few messy seconds.

  
  


—

  
  


He didn’t expect the next day to be as chaotic as it was.

He woke up to the books still laid messily on his desk, eliciting a groan from his lips as he pulled himself out of bed to clean it up. The next dilemma in his morning was taking a shower without any hot water thanks to his mother. His walk to school was rather cold too, as he didn’t anticipate for the weather to be as cold as it was.

He hoped throughout the day it wouldn’t be as faulty as his morning, but as he left the class that was scheduled before lunch, that wish dispersed into nothing. The hallways were packed with students as they crowded around something again.

He didn’t want to know what they were surrounding, choosing to walk the other way to his locker. Only when he reached his locker was he stopped.

“Sungchan, what are you doing here?” Chenle grabbed his arm, almost yelling in his ear, “Do you not see all this commotion?”   
  
He shrugged Chenle’s hand off him, “Why would I care?”

“Haechan’s in the commotion fighting again.” Chenle sighed.” I thought you knew that.”   


“Oh.” Sungchan cursed internally. “Why is he always getting into fights?”   
  
“The guy insulted you.” Chenle said.

Sungchan swore under his breath. “He needs to stop defending me.”   
  
“I think it’s kinda cute.”    
  
“Now is not the time to be annoying.” Sungchan huffed, shutting his locker.

Haechan wasn’t his responsibility, but he still made his way over to the fight, hearing Haechan’s mother in his head, thanking him for getting Haechan out of these ridiculous fights. 

He sighed internally as he realised  _ this _ is what is becoming of him, but he tried his hardest to ignore the part of him that knew he’d protect Haechan no matter what.

The crowd was easy to push through as he was taller than everyone there, and majority of them remembered him from the last time he did this, so they quickly made room for him, whispering that  _ ‘Sungchan’s here’  _ and other things that filtered through his ears without his brain bothering to interpret it.

Once again, Haechan was swinging punches left and right but the person wasn’t the same as the last. With a sigh, Sungchan got in between, pushing Haechan away from the taller guy who Sungchan didn’t recognise.

“Move Sungchan!” Haechan yelled, trying to push past him but being stopped by Sungchan grabbing his waist. Haechan continued to push against him, but Sungchan remained calm, impressed at how Haechan struggled to escape his hold.

“Stop it Haechan,” He mumbled only for him to hear. “I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t fight anymore.”   
  
“Just let me at him!” Haechan cried, feeling more frustration than ever when the guy he was fighting smirked at him.

“We’re leaving.” Sungchan mumbled again, releasing his hold to turn around and look at the other guy, holding himself back from slapping the smirk off his face. “If you touch him ever again, you’ll be dealing with me, got it?”   
  
“I’m not scared of you.” The guy responded, his smirk only growing wider. 

Sungchan refused to give in to his desire to knock the guys’ lights out so he turned on his heels, and grabbed Haechan by the hand before walking away. He pushed through the crowd with Haechan next to him, making it all the way to his lockers before looking Haechan in the eye.

“Let’s skip the rest of the day.” He suggested, opening his locker to grab his bag.

Haechan simply shrugged, following him quietly. He always got quiet after fights, but Sungchan didn’t mind, instead he grabbed Haechan’s hand and led him away from school towards the same strip of shops he goes to after school.

Once he knew Haechan could walk himself, he released his grip, ignoring how Haechan frowned at the action. They entered the coffee shop together, sitting opposite each other after ordering.

The cafe was quiet, contrary to their loud conversation so Sungchan dragged them outside again as soon as their drinks were ready. Haechan followed him out after grabbing his drink off the counter, leading him to an abandoned park positioned around the corner from the shops. 

They sat side by side on an empty bench, thighs touching. Sungchan moved when he realised how close they were.

“Why were you fighting that guy?” He began.

“He hit me.” Haechan lied. “It doesn’t matter now, does it? You stopped it.”

“Chenle told me the guy insulted me, and that’s why you swung.” 

“Oh.” Haechan stared at his coffee. “Well, he’s right. But I didn’t want you to know that.”   
  
“You need to learn how to stop yourself.” Sungchan interrupted, not caring about the fact that this was the second time someone had insulted him and gotten Haechan angry.

Haechan knew that he had to stop, but he didn’t have the same personality as Sungchan. He couldn’t let people wronging him slip past, whilst Sungchan could. Sungchan was adjusted to not causing a scene. Haechan caused a scene without even considering the consequences, going out of his way to contend with the person at fault — even if he’s the one at fault.

“It’s not healthy to get into fights so often.” Sungchan continued. “You need to learn how to walk away. I can’t be there every time to pull you away.”   
  
Haechan nodded. He was beginning to understand Sungchan’s reasoning despite wanting to argue that he had a perfectly valid reason to have swung at that guy. Haechan refused to tell Sungchan exactly what the insult was, as it was far from an insult and more a threat than anything. He didn’t want Sungchan to feel threatened by people who didn’t even matter.

“I’ll try.”  _ For you.  _ Haechan failed to say.

His walk home was quiet when Haechan decided to stick around the shops for a bit longer. Sungchan hoped he wasn’t looking for anything that’d get him in trouble, but placed enough trust in him to simply shop after Haechan demanded he go home without the elder. 

The wind blew furiously as the minutes passed, and made Sungchan wish he’d brought a jacket but when he got inside, he made himself a warm cup of coffee and resided in his room. His mother wasn’t home, so he basked in the quiet by sipping his coffee and reading a book.

The silence made him miss his old town, where it was always quiet. The most noise that occurred there was during rush hour as cars zoomed down the main road a few turns from Sungchan’s old street to quickly get home. 

He wondered if he’d ever go back there, as the reason to leave wasn’t a negative one, but he decided he liked this town better. He didn’t have any friends in his old town, only relying on his mother for social interaction, so he definitely preferred this town; but the friendships he’d gained already were so new to him. He’d basically jumped right into those friendships and he didn’t understand how that was possible. Usually friendships take time to progress, but with Haechan, it was different.

—

He continued to see Haechan with Yoona everywhere, they were practically attached at the hip and Sungchan tried to not get jealous. He tried to ignore it and play off his lingering looks as curiosity, but he knew it was far from that. 

Whenever Haechan showed up to their lunch table with her, Sungchan deflated. He knew he deflated even more when Haechan showed up alone though, because whenever he was alone, his neck wasn’t. It was littered in hickeys that made Sungchan wonder how Haechan could walk around school so confidently with anyone in plain sight seeing the array of marks along his neck.

Jaemin and Chenle had avoided asking Sungchan about Haechan, but they noticed how he was affected by Haechan’s relationship with Yoona. It wasn’t like they could say much though. Sungchan never let them— always changing the topic to something else if it came onto Haechan.

Despite all that, Haechan had begged him to keep up the fake dating agenda in front of his parents so it resulted in Sungchan spending nights there when he’d usually be at home, either studying or spending time with his mother. The fake dating stunt wasn’t too bad, but Sungchan still wondered when he’d feel Haechan’s lips on his.

He got a call from Haechan on a Saturday after he spent the Friday evening over there with Jaemin and Chenle. He’d left earlier than the other two though, and believed they slept over.

“Come to my house.” Haechan mumbled, voice free of emotion. “I have something to discuss with you.”

He ended up in Haechan’s bedroom, anticipating what Haechan had to talk to him about. His words over the phone had been so serious that Sungchan grew worried during his walk over, but he relaxed when Haechan smiled at him in the doorway.

The thought of Haechan wanting to see him alone crossed his mind as he tried to formulate a reason for this visit. 

“When you pulled me away from that drinking competition at that party weeks ago, you told Chenle and Jaemin that I don’t need you.”

Sungchan tried to remain calm, wondering how Haechan even knew that. Those words had been testing the waters, figuring out if they agreed that Haechan didn’t need him. He didn’t expect it to catch on to Haechan’s ears.

“How’d you know I said that?”   
  
“Not important.” Haechan said. “I wanted to show you that I do need you.”

“What does that entail?” Sungchan asked, gulping lightly as Haechan came closer. He wanted to distract himself with anything in the room that wasn’t Haechan, but his stare was so strong, Sungchan couldn’t look away.

“All the fake dating stuff becoming real?” Haechan tilted his head, standing in front of Sungchan.

“I thought you were with Yoona.” Sungchan breathed heavily as Haechan was practically underneath his chin, staring up at him. He felt hands on his waist and his brain turned to mush.

Haechan scrunched his face together at the statement, leaning back to place space in between them. Sungchan deflated when he realised his words ruined the moment. He’d been so close to feeling Haechan’s lips on his.

“Why would you think that?”   
  
“You’re always with her, and she’s always giving you hickeys.”

Haechan looked away, not having an explanation.

“It’s a distraction. I told you that.”

Sungchan sighed. The answer wasn’t enough for him. There was no way Haechan expected him to be okay with the guy he likes running off with someone else to distract him. After all, Sungchan didn’t even know what Haechan was distracting himself from. 

He left without sticking around for much longer, feeling nothing but awkwardness for the remainder of his time with Haechan. It made him realise just how unfamiliar they really were with each other.

—

It’d been a week since Haechan asked him to come over, and Sungchan was craving to be alone with him again even if it didn’t turn out well. He decided to ignore Haechan’s words from earlier, believing he wasn’t keen for making the relationship real.

Tonight, Haechan had asked him to come over for a sleepover because his parents had started to ask where Sungchan was. Haechan’s parents were still being entertained with the lie that they were boyfriends, and Sungchan wanted it to last as long as possible if it meant he could be alone with Haechan.

They were sitting in his kitchen with Haechan’s mother, watching her make dinner and occasionally providing a helping hand.

“Do you guys plan to go on any dates sometime soon?” Haechan’s mother asked. “I could organise it if you want.”   
  
Haechan shrugged, digging into the snacks that lay on the kitchen bench, pouting when his mother swiped his hand away. 

“I’m sure we can organise one ourselves.” Sungchan smiled. “Thank you for the offer though.”   
  
“Oh, ok.” She responded, nudging Haechan who innocently popped his head up from where he’d been digging into the snacks again.

“What?” He asked, clearly missing the conversation. His mother sighed, sending a look to Sungchan that made him laugh.

Haechan’s father was apparently at work, but either way, the atmosphere felt homey and like something Sungchan could definitely get used to. Haechan had yet to meet his mother but he was planning on inviting all of them over so his mother could make friends with Haechan’s parents.

It was a risky move, as he wasn’t sure how long this relationship with Haechan would last; if it becomes a relationship. But it didn’t stop him from asking that morning as Haechan drove him to school. 

The reaction he received was completely unexpected, but for all he knew, Haechan had probably never been to the house of his fake-boyfriend with the company of his parents for a civilised dinner.

“How would that work?” Haechan asked.

“You tell your parents and then come over to my house for dinner if they agree. It’s just like a party but without lots of drunk teens who are ready to risk their life to impress the other drunk teens around them.”   
  
Haechan chuckled, leaning closer to the steering wheel. Sungchan smiled, watching Haechan laugh, savouring the pretty image of Haechan’s lips slightly parted and cheeks red from laughter in his memory.

He entered the school side by side Haechan again, but the reaction was different than the last. The stares weren’t infused with confusion anymore. Each eye held fear and each movement was aimed to make sure they were a respective distance from the pair. Sungchan assumed the change was due to him stepping in between another fight.

“I’ll see you later?” Haechan asked at the lockers.

Sungchan nodded with a smile, desperately wanting to send Haechan off with a kiss. He was too late as Haechan was already walking down the hall to his first class, with Chenle who joined moments later.

Sungchan stepped into his first class, sitting beside Jaemin who sighed dramatically at him.

“And if it isn’t the talk of the school.”

“Me?”    
  
Jaemin nodded. “Well, duh who else?”

“Why am I being talked about?” Sungchan reached into his bag to pull out his usual supplies. 

Jaemin scoffed, thinking Sungchan already knew. He had an inkling but he didn’t want to jump to conclusions, and he wanted to discuss it more because it’s not everyday that he’s the talk of the school. At his last school, just about no one knew his name.

“You stepped into another fight.” Jaemin said. “Thanks by the way. I never got to thank you for the first time you stepped in.”   
  
“You don’t need to thank me for it.”

Jaemin nodded, going quiet as he searched for more to say. Sungchan was acting a bit different with how dismissive he was, but Jaemin just put it down to being surprised about being the center of attention of the other students. Neither of them failed to notice the hushed whispers and intrigued looks from the other kids in class.

He realised as the day went on that being the center of attention was more burdensome than fun, and he wondered how Haechan managed it so dignifingly. 

Speaking of Haechan, he saw the latter on the way to his last period, crossing paths as they walked from opposite directions in the hall. Sungchan felt his heart rate speed up at the presence.

“Hey.” Haechan smiled, stopping in his step, not caring about the kids behind him who grew annoyed at his pause and loudly walked around the pair. “When are we doing that dinner?”   
  
“Whenever you’re available Haechan, I can ask my mum tonight about when she’s available and maybe I can see when her girlfriend is available too.”

“Ok, sounds good.” Haechan hugged his books close to his chest, and it made something almost domestic-like stir in Sungchan. Here he was, in the middle of his high school hall, staring down at a boy who makes his cheeks red and heart beat rapidly in his chest, whilst the boy in question looks softer than ever with his cheeks dusted red and books tucked close to him. 

It reminded Sungchan of the movies.

Their moment ended when Haechan decided to go on his way, walking away from Sungchan after giving him a hug. Sungchan saw the curious looks of the kids around him, but ignored it in favour of walking to his class, a smile smitten on his face.

After school, Haechan begged Sungchan to come over with him, practically pulling at his sleeve. Sungchan tried to ignore the way he got flustered under the curious looks of the other kids, hushing Haechan’s whining by grabbing his hand and dragging them towards his car.

Haechan drove quickly to his house, taking every chance to touch Sungchan at red lights that he could.

“Are the others coming over?” 

Sungchan sat on the edge of Haechan’s bed, smiling when Haechan sat on his lap, facing the younger. He didn’t expect him to be so clingy, but he enjoyed it nevertheless, feeling Haechan’s fingertips ghosting his waist. 

“Yoona is.” He said. “I forgot to talk to you about her.”   
  
Sungchan remembered how earlier in the week they had been attached to each others’ hips. He wondered what happened to Haechan disliking her. 

He nodded at Haechan to continue, letting his hands rest on Haechan’s hips. Their proximity was so impossibly close that he could feel Haechan’s hot breath hitting his face.

“She wanted company and said I was the only person who could give her the company she wanted.”   
  
“That explains these hickeys.” Sungchan pressed his fingers into the faded marks, smiling when Haechan gasped. “Are you considering that date your mother suggested?”

Sungchan’s fingers threaded underneath the hem of Haechan’s shirt, touching his bare waist lightly. He could feel Haechan shiver under his touch and it made him smirk. Haechan was always so confident when others were around, but when it was just the two of them, Sungchan loved how easy it was to fluster him.

“Actually yes.” Haechan mumbled, focused on Sungchan’s fingers. “I know a place or two that I can take you.”   
  
Sungchan hummed. “So about Yoona, I thought you didn’t like her.”

Haechan looked away. “Things change.”   
  
“So what changed?”   
  
“I can’t tell you.” Haechan continued to avoid eye contact.

“Alright.” 

Sungchan’s fingers feel slack from Haechan’s waist, feeling awkwardness overwhelm them just like the last time they were alone in his room. Sungchan noted that they weren’t very good at discussing things when they were alone.

Luckily, a knock at Haechan’s front door interrupted the awkward silence and made Haechan jump up.

“It’s Yoona.”   
  
He left the room to open the door for her, walking back in with her beside him, hand on his waist. She smiled at Sungchan, evidently surprised to see him.

“Am I interrupting something?”   
  
Sungchan wanted to say yes, wanted to ask her to get out so he could go back to having Haechan to himself but he didn’t. He watched Haechan hug her instead, feeling a clench at his heart.

“It’s okay.” Sungchan looked up from his lap. “You’re not interrupting anything.”

She smiled in response. Haechan looked at him with a longing expression that Sungchan simply ignored before turning back to Yoona. 

The three of them spent the rest of the afternoon in Haechan’s backyard. Sungchan regretted letting her stay, wanting to ask what her problem was that she needed a distraction from someone who wasn’t willing to give it. 

—

It’d been a few days since Sungchan was at Haechan’s house, and over that time Sungchan had finally told his mother about the fake dating, except he left out the part regarding that it was fake. Her excitement was bigger than he expected. By now, Hyerin probably knew too despite not being there when he told his mother.

“When can I meet him?” She cooed.

“I’ll bring him over after school.”    
  
“Today?” She gasped. “I need time to clean first.”

“Well, you have the day off so clean today. Besides this place isn’t even messy.”   
  
“Whatever, whatever. Get to school young man.”   
  
He laughed, kissing her on the head before starting his walk to school. 

Their first date was coming up soon, as Haechan had taken on planning it. Sungchan had no idea where it was, but he was excited nevertheless. He spotted Haechan walking into school as he entered, waving at the latter to catch his attention.

“Hey Sungchan.” Haechan smiled. 

“Hi.”    
  
They walked in together, and Sungchan noticed that the other kids paid no attention to them anymore. They’d either gotten used to seeing them together or simply didn’t care. He hoped for both.

“Are you available tomorrow after school?”   
  
Tomorrow was a Friday, so of course he was available. He nodded in response to Haechan’s question, waltzing to his locker as Haechan reluctantly followed.

“I want to take you out tomorrow.” He said. “I’ve planned it all for tomorrow, and with the weather being pretty cold, today is the perfect day to go out.”   
  
Sungchan nodded. “Where are you taking me?”   
  
“That’s a surprise.” Haechan smirked. “Besides, you’ll find out tomorrow, don’t be impatient.” He teased.

Sungchan smiled, taking his books out of his locker before staring at Haechan. The elder stared back, anticipating something from him but Sungchan didn’t deliver it as they were in front of so many people. Haechan pouted as Sungchan went on his way, following the boy to at least give him a kiss on the cheek before heading to his own class.

“Stop doing that in school.” A voice spoke up. 

Sungchan turned, feeling Haechan’s arm wrap tightly around his waist as they both made eye contact with the guy who fought with Haechan the other day. Sungchan sighed, realising what was happening. Sungchan learnt the name of the boy from Jaemin, but continued to refer to him as ‘the guy’ to deter any importance from him. His name is Joseph Choi however, to be exact.

“Why do you care?” Sungchan moved Haechan’s arms off him. This time, he wasn’t going to walk away with letting this guy off scratch free.

“Because it’s disgusting.” He smiled contradictingly. “Keep your gay business out of the school grounds.”

Sungchan didn’t even process the words fully until his arms launched into action, landing a punch on the guys’ jaw. Haechan stood on the side, eyes popping out his head at the action. Instead of pulling Sungchan away, he stepped aside, watching the fight and simultaneously making sure Sungchan didn’t get hurt.

It didn’t spiral to a fight as Sungchan’s punch was enough to make Joseph forfeit. His jaw was already showing the results of Sungchan’s hard punch, and his gritted teeth were enough for everyone around to know that it hurt more than Haechan’s punches. Haechan smiled when Joseph walked off without a word.

“Sungchan.” Haechan turned to Sungchan, holding his waist to center his focus on the elder. “That was amazing. Where’d you learn to punch like that?”   
  
Sungchan shrugged. “I used to do boxing in middle school.”

Haechan nodded, pulling him along to their next class. He wish he knew how Haechan recovered from that homophobic attack so quickly, but his heart sunk when he realised it was probably due to experience. 

Before he walked off, he made sure to press a kiss on Haechan’s cheek.

“No one can stop me from doing that.” He mumbled into Haechan’s ear before waltzing off, turning around to see a red Haechan frozen in his step.

Something about that interaction made him wonder if everything about their relationship was just to show. He held a deep desire for that, at least, to be real in Haechan’s eyes.

—

Sungchan had been anticipating his date with Haechan, that was only a few hours from now, so much that he struggled to focus in his classes and clumsily handed in assignments that he’d finished days ago. He wasn’t usually this uncoordinated, but he supposed the thought of being alone with Haechan in a romantic setting was shielding any motor skill he holds.

He hadn’t seen Haechan yet today, but it was fine, because his phone held texts from the boy reminding him about the date later tonight. It was at 7pm, and Sungchan was to be ready so Haechan could pick him up from his doorstep at that time.

Sungchan had made sure his mother was aware so she could meet him too. He’d changed his plans about bringing Haechan over after school yesterday, telling his disappointed mother that she could meet him when Haechan picks him up for his date. That had been enough to satisfy her, and make her gossip with him about where the date would possibly be.

He was sitting in his Chemistry class scheduled before lunch, tapping his foot against the hard floor as he waited for the bell to ring. He wanted to see Haechan already.

As he ran to his locker, down the hall, he grew confused when he spotted Yoona next to Joseph. He appeared to be talking to her like any normal person would, but when Sungchan looked closer, he noticed the discomfort on Yoona’s face and how she was enveloped in her own arms to protect herself.

Sungchan paused his route to go off track and approach them. Yoona spotted him before Joseph did, and it made Sungchan flood with relief when Yoona looked relieved to see him. 

“Hey.” He yelled, catching the attention of Joseph. He turned around, squinting at Sungchan with a frown that was ever so ugly. “What are you doing?”   
  
“I’m just talking to her bro, chill.”   
  
“No I won’t chill. Why are you talking to her?” Sungchan stood beside Yoona, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Does it look like she wants to talk to you?”   
  
“Who do you think you are?” The smaller man spat. “This is my school, you have no right coming in here and thinking you’re hot shit.”   
  
“Your school?” Sungchan scoffed. Yoona tried to intervene, but she was stopped by Joseph.

“Yes. My school. My father is the principal.”   
  
His words sounded true, but Sungchan didn’t let it stop him. “So it’s your fathers’ school?”   
  
He nodded, giving Sungchan a mean look as if to call him dumb for not knowing. Sungchan knew the principal— he was a kind man unlike his son. The principal, Mr. Choi had greeted him every time he encountered Sungchan, a kind smile gracing his lips. Sungchan knew it was for show, but his last principal never bothered to greet the students so it was a step up. 

“So you’re telling me that if I were to tell your father about the things you do, and the shit you spew with him as your defense, he’d be okay with it?” Sungchan tilted his head, noticing a crowd was starting to form around them. 

His arm around Yoona’s waist was enough to gather attention, but now everyone was also listening into their conversation, watching the embarrassment take over Joseph’s face.

“Didn’t think so.” Sungchan smirked.

He turned around to leave with Yoona when he felt a hit to his back. Joseph had resorted to fighting again. 

Now Sungchan understood why it was so hard for Haechan to walk away.

“Sungchan, don’t.” Yoona said, stepping out of the way as Sungchan raised his hand to punch again.

He disregarded her words, swinging at Joseph’s jaw for the second time. When his punch connected, he spotted Haechan running towards them, pushing through the crowd.

The distraction was enough for Joseph to land a punch on Sungchan’s face too, smirking when the taller boy stumbled backwards. Haechan cried out as he watched the pain erupt on Sungchan’s face, pushing through the crowd faster as they dispersed quickly when they realised who it was.

He also caught a glimpse of Mr Choi headed towards them, but couldn’t do anything about it when Haechan grabbed him by the waist and pulled him back.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave him the hell alone you fucking freak!” Haechan yelled, pushing Joseph back. “Do you want me to tell the whole school how you threatened to lure Sungchan into bed with you just to call him disgusting when he kissed me? Is your life that pathetic?”   
  
Joseph’s face went pale at the words and gasps of everyone around him. Mr Choi stepped in, telling the other students to go to class before telling the four to step into his office. Sungchan followed Mr Choi, feeling another wave of jealousy erupt through him as he saw Haechan walking close to Yoona, making sure she was far from Joseph.

“Are you okay?” He heard Haechan mumble into her ear, with an arm around her waist.

He turned around again, blocking out her response. He thought about what Haechan had yelled back there, and decided he’d ask questions about it later, feeling sick to his stomach at the thought of Joseph wanting to be intimate with him.

When they reached the office, Mr Choi invited them all to sit down except for Joseph, who stood at the far end of the room, leaning against the wall. It was like he’s been in this position many times in the past.

“I want to hear from Yoona first.” Mr Choi said.

All eyes were on her as they waited for her to talk. Sungchan noticed Haechan’s hand slip into hers, squeezing for encouragement before letting go again. He felt the pang of jealousy again.

“I was at my locker and Joseph approached me again. I told him to leave me alone but he wouldn’t, then Sungchan showed up and Joseph started to get aggressive.”

“Liar.” Joseph interrupted.

“Joseph.” Mr Choi scowled. 

“She’s lying dad! They’ll all going to lie. I didn’t do anything until this homo punched me—”   
  
“Call him that again and I’ll knock you so hard all your teeth fall out right now.” Haechan threatened, staring straight at Joseph who looked down, avoiding Haechan’s eyes.

“Please continue Yoona.” Mr Choi said, trying to remain professional.

“Sungchan and Joseph got into a small fight until Haechan came, and then Haechan yelled what he did which I’m sure you heard when you came along. That was it.” Yoona shrugged.

Mr Choi nodded, turning to his son. “I’m suspending you for three weeks. One for hitting another student, one for making Yoona uncomfortable and not leaving her alone and another for saying what you did about Sungchan.”   
  
“Dad!”   
  
“No. I’m not your dad when it’s school hours. I’m your principal. Now go home.”

Sungchan held back a smirk as Joseph left, relieved that Mr Choi was actually nice like his persona let off. Haechan’s hand found its way into his, squeezing when Mr Choi directed his attention to Sungchan now. He felt the jealousy melt into exhilaration.

“I’m so sorry about him.” He said. “Are you guys alright? He didn’t hurt either of you?”   
  
“My jaw is a bit sore from that punch, but otherwise I’m fine.” Sungchan said, smiling. 

“Alright. How about you Haechan?” 

“I’m alright. Thanks for dealing with it properly Mr Choi, we’ll be off now.”   
  
“Head to class guys.” Mr Choi said. “No more skipping.”   
  
Sungchan assumed that last sentence was directed to Haechan so he smirked at the smaller boy and tipped his head as if to agree with Mr Choi’s words. Haechan just smiled, pushing him out into the hall so they could walk to class together. 

He turned around to Yoona while Sungchan waited in the hall for him.

“Hey, Yoona.” Haechan said. “Walk with us?”   
  
“It’s fine.” She sighed, looking at the direction Joseph had left in. “I think he’ll leave me alone for a while now.”   
  
“If he doesn’t, let me know.” Haechan patted her shoulder, turning back to Sungchan as they linked hands and went to class together. 

“Is it true?” He asked. “The thing about Joseph luring me into bed?”   
  
Haechan nodded shamefully. “It’s why we fought the other day. He stopped me in the hall and whispered it to me, thinking I wouldn’t react.”

Sungchan felt sick and just plainly disgusted that anyone would think about doing that to another person. He was glad it was dealt with, but he was scared. He didn’t know who else in their school who was like Joseph, and he just prayed that no one was. He didn’t like the idea of his relationship with Haechan putting him in danger of predatory teenage boys.

“I’m sorry to have blurted it out like that.” Haechan said. “I know I should’ve told you, but I wanted to protect you from it by making sure you never knew. My anger got the best of me when I saw him punch you though.”

“It’s okay.” He squeezed Haechan’s hand before releasing it, suddenly aware of the looks from the other kids.

Haechan let him go, despite sulking about it in his facial expressions. They continued walking side by side to class, and Sungchan felt a little bit better knowing Haechan was beside him.

“Don’t forget our date is tonight!” Haechan grinned, trying to lighten the mood.

Sungchan smiled, blushing at the thought of going on a date with Haechan. They entered the classroom together, sitting on opposite ends of the room. 

Sungchan could feel Haechan’s eyes on the back of his head nearly the entire class, and when he turned around at the end, Haechan smiled at him like he’d been waiting the entire time for Sungchan to turn around.

He felt Haechan’s arm loop around his waist when the teacher finally let everyone leave, and went red at the minimal space between the two.

“It’s date time.” Haechan grinned, nuzzling his head under Sungchan’s chin.

“I’ll see you tonight when you pick me up.” Sungchan smirked before waltzing out of the room. 

He knew Haechan would chase him so he wasn’t surprised when the latter caught up next to him, and walked with him to his locker. 

“Why are you still following me?” Sungchan raised an eyebrow, giggling when Haechan blushed.

“Gotta keep the act up.” Haechan mumbled, grabbing Sungchan’s arm and wrapping it around his shoulders. The glimmer in Haechan’s eye went against his words, but Sungchan ignored that, rather dwelling on how all this was just an act for Haechan.

Sungchan let himself be walked out of school and into Haechan’s car, resting his head on the window as Haechan drove him home.

“Wait.” Haechan grabbed Sungchan’s arm before he could climb out of the car. “Can I go inside with you?”   
  
“Why?”   
  
“To meet your mum.”   
  
Sungchan shrugged, letting Haechan follow him inside. He wanted to show more emotion but he was playing it safe, letting all his feelings of jealousy dictate how to act with the elder. 

His mother was in the kitchen when they entered, but she quickly abandoned her duties when she saw Haechan behind her son.

“Oh my gosh, why didn’t you tell me you were bringing Haechan over?” She yelled.

“I did.” Sungchans’ mumble went ignored by the sound of his mother cooing over Haechan and wrapping him in a hug. Haechan was red in the face at the attention, causing Sungchan to laugh and feel warm on the inside.

He wanted Haechan to feel comfortable in his house, just like he feels comfortable in his, so he thanked his mother for her over-the-top reaction rather than feeling embarrassed. 

“He’s talked so much about you.” She said, pulling out of the hug. “I never expected him to find a boyfriend so quickly after moving here.”   
  
He simply smiled at Haechan who looked at him with an expression that made his heart thump faster. He felt like one of those people in the movies when they bring their partner home for the holidays, except Haechan wasn’t his partner and it wasn’t the holidays. One of those things Sungchan wished was different.

“Well, I’m glad then. It’d be a bit awkward if you didn’t know who I was.” Haechan smiled. “Are you aware that I’m taking your son out for a date tonight?”   
  
“I am.” She responded with an intrigued smile. “I’m also under the impression that where you’re taking him is a secret, and I’ve been trying to guess it all week now.”

Haechan let out a loud laugh, leaning into Sungchan’s space for balance. Sungchan took the opportunity to hold Haechan’s arms and steady him, feeling sparks of warmth from his warm skin. His mother simply watched the interaction with a fond eye, completely fooled by their acting.

Sungchan knew his actions weren’t acting, but it hurt to know that Haechan’s were. Every touch and kiss on the cheek were just for show, but they held a special place in Sungchan’s heart.

“Do you want to stick around until the date or are you going to head off to get ready?” Sungchan asked, turning to Haechan after his mother excused herself to return to her kitchen work.

“I’m gonna head off now.” He smiled. “Just wanted to meet your mum first. She’s really cool by the way.”

Sungchan smiled, nodding his head. “Well, I’ll see you tonight then.”   
  
They walked to his front door together, and Sungchan stood with the door open to watch Haechan off like any typical couple. Before Haechan left, he turned around and stared at Sungchan without speaking.

“What?” Sungchan interrupted the silence.

“Don’t you think you should let your boyfriend off with a kiss?” Haechan smirked.

Sungchan tried to push his blush aside, knowing all this was just for show again. He wondered why Haechan was trying to keep up the act when his mother was too deep into the house to see them kissing at the front door. Nevertheless, he leaned forward, feeling a mixture of excitement and anguish. 

He was finally feeling Haechan’s lips on his, so he pushed aside that it was all for show and enjoyed the way Haechan’s lips moved on his. They were plush and bigger than Sungchan’s, making him melt when Haechan sucked on his bottom lip before pulling away.

“Not bad.” Haechan said before climbing into his car, driving off without looking back. 

Sungchan stood at his door dazed, only coming to his senses when his mother yelled for him. She smiled at him when he walked in again, a hint of pity behind her eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

He shrugged. “I’m going to get ready.”

When he ventured to his room and began to scavenge for clothes that’d impress Haechan, he saw his phone go off. When he answered the call, Jaemin’s voice filtered through the phone.

“Are you going on a date with Haechan tonight?”   
  
“Yeah.” Sungchan sighed, sitting on his bed, remembering the light touches of Haechan’s fingers on his waist. “It’s not real though.”   
  
“Not real?” Jaemin’s tone softened.

“He told his parents that I’m his boyfriend, and since then everything that’s happened between us is to keep that act up.”

Jaemin went quiet, processing Sungchan’s words. Sungchan picked at his nails while he waited.

“Anyway, I have to go.” Sungchan said eventually. “See you later Jaemin.”   
  
He hung up before Jaemin could respond, throwing his phone across the bed and flopping onto his back, releasing a heavy sigh. He wanted to scream due to how suffocated he feels, but all it’d do is make his mother concerned. He decided he just needed to get through tonights’ date without letting Haechan mess with his feelings too much; he believed that wasn’t a difficult thing to ask for.

He emerged from his room, walking into the kitchen where his mother had been earlier. He heard voices outside, so he stepped out and smiled when he spotted Hyerin next to his mother.

“Hey Hyerin.” He leaned down to briefly hug her. “What brings you here?”   
  
“Well, your mother said you’d be out tonight, so I came over so she and I could have an at-home date.” She smiled.

“Two dates in one day then.” He joked.

“Oh, are you going on a date too?” She looked at his mother with an expression that Sungchan couldn’t decipher.

“I am.” He replied. “I have a boyfriend.”   
  
Hyerin smiled, giving him a fist bump before turning her attention back to his mother. He retreated back inside after that, not wanting to invade their privacy. He sat in the lounge room, flicking through different channels to find something to occupy himself with before Haechan shows up.

Hyerin walked into the room alone after a few minutes, sitting beside Sungchan.

“Tell me about this boyfriend of yours.” She said.

“Well, his name is Haechan and he’s smaller than me despite being older.” Sungchan started. “We only met recently because I met him here. This is our first date too, he organised it all.”   
  
She nodded, gesturing for him to continue. He smiled gratefully, continuing to ramble about everything about Haechan. Once he’d finished, he noticed how Hyerin was giving him a knowing look, causing him to pause.

“How long have you known him for?”

“Five months.” Sungchan answered. “Since I moved here.”   
  
She nodded, looking as if she was processing the information to output the correct words. He waited for her to speak, staring at his phone for any signs of Haechan’s arrival.

“I just want you to know that even though I’m just your mothers girlfriend, you can turn to me if you need.” She said. “I want to be here for you and your mother.”

“Oh. Thank you Hyerin.” 

He was in shock, no one has said anything like this to him before. Growing up with just his mother and not finding solace in other adults has now made him realise just how difficult it’d be to trust Hyerin, but nothing was stopping him from trying. After all, she gave him no reasons to not trust her.

A knock at the door interrupted their conversation from continuing.

“I think that’s for you.” She smiled, patting his shoulder before leaving to seek out his mother again.

He opened the door, smiling at Haechan before exiting his house to walk alongside Haechan to his car. The wind was brisk, but cold enough to make him shiver. Haechan noticed it, but only had his arms to offer. Sungchan denied the offer, sliding into the warm car instead.

“Are you excited?” Haechan slid into the drivers’ seat, smiling at Sungchan to ignore how his offer for a hug was rejected.

“I am.” Sungchan smiled, tight-lipped and staged. He was excited, but all this was fake. He didn’t want it to be fake. Haechan should probably know that by now if he paid attention to anything Sungchan did.

“Let’s go then.” He mumbled nonchalantly, beginning to drive away from Sungchan’s house, onto a main road that led them far from the suburbs.

Soon enough, there were no houses in sight and Sungchan was beginning to worry that they were lost. Haechan hummed as he drove, calm as ever, and flicked his eyes over to Sungchan every few minutes, ardour hidden behind his glimmering eyes.

Sungchan chose to lean back and trust Haechan, watching the trees woosh past his vision as the car zoomed down the road. It was nice to sit in a car comfortably with Haechan, he realised.

“We’re here.” Haechan said eventually, pulling into a busy car park, filled with families of four to five. 

Sungchan followed Haechan’s lead to the entrance, realising he’d taken them to an amusement park. It was the most popular park in the town, being known for its chair lift that flocks in couples from all over the country. Sungchan blushed when Haechan grabbed his hand, pulling him through entry and towards the line for the chair lift.

As they waited in line, Sungchan admired the sky while Haechan admired him, only looking away when Sungchan caught him staring. Their hands were still connected, and Sungchan’s heart was thumping in his chest all over again. 

The line got shorter and shorter over time, and eventually they were stepping into a lift, thighs touching as they sat together. Sungchan looked ahead, admiring the ground below, gasping at the beauty of the world beneath them.

He looked at Haechan eventually, smiling bashfully when Haechan was already staring at him with a wide smile.

“Do you like this?” Haechan asked, apprehension laced in his voice.

Sungchan nodded, leaning into Haechan’s space. “I love it Haechan. Thank you for this, really.”

Haechans’ smile widened, lips becoming Sungchan’s only focus as the space between them became smaller and smaller. His heart was still beating rapidly in his chest, but with their proximity, he knew Haechan’s was too. 

He placed a hand on Haechan’s thigh, abandoning the beautiful view of the world around them to focus on the beautiful view of what was right in front of him. Haechan’s eyes flickered to his lips multiple times before giving him a look that asked for permission. Sungchan’s breath hitched at the thought of feeling Haechan’s lips again.

In this place, so far away from anyone who knows them, he realised that it was real. Haechan was doing this on his own accord, not to make people acknowledge their relationship, and it made Sungchan’s heart continue to thump. 

“Can I?” He mumbled to which Sungchan nodded, smiling when Haechan closed the gap.

They moved sensually in time with each other, hands raising to each others’ cheeks to pull each other closer. Sungchan let his hands resort to Haechan’s waist, clutching the material between his fists and relished in the feeling of Haechan’s lips on his, knowing this won’t last forever.

When they broke apart the ride was still going, and as far ahead as Sungchan could see, it’d be going for a while still. The air felt warmer now after that interaction, and Sungchan didn’t want the night to end.

He wanted to stay here forever because he knew the moment he goes back home, it’d all be over. Haechan would go back to faking it, and he’d go back to putting up with seeing Haechan with Yoona. His heart sank at the realisation but he pushed himself to forget about it by connecting their lips again, savouring every last touch Haechan offered.

—

The following week began with Sungchan waking up to an empty house. Heeyeon, his mother, was at Hyerin’s again, staying overnight after going on a Sunday evening date together. It wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to now, after they’ve done this multiple times in the past since they started dating, but the eerie silence that sounded through the house was enough to make him wish he wasn’t alone.

Looking at his phone, he had some messages from Haechan, but he didn’t answer them. He’d see Haechan at school soon, so he didn’t feel the need to answer. Instead, he packed his bag and set off to be picked up by Jaemin. He was driving Sungchan to school today, after multiple calls across the weekend, begging him for details about his date with Haechan.

He’d finally given in by accepting Jaemin’s offer to drive him to school, as it provided him the benefit of not having to walk. 

“I better hear all the details from now to school or I’m pulling over.” Jaemin said as soon as Sungchan climbed into the passenger seat.

He let out a laugh, pulling his seatbelt across his body as he threw his backpack to his feet. “He took me to the big amusement park in the hills. We rode the chair lift first, then we had dinner and then we went on the ferris wheel together.”   
  
“The ferris wheel together, huh?” Jaemin smirked. “Did you perhaps get stuck at the top?”

Sungchan snorted. “No. We didn’t. Nothing beyond going on rides and eating happened Jaemin.”

Sungchan was lying, of course, but he wasn’t willing to spill the details about his intimate moments with Haechan when he knew they’d start unnecessary rumours that he assumed Haechan wouldn’t want to deal with. After all, as they walked into school together, he spotted Haechan in the arms of Yoona again. Jaemin failed to acknowledge the drop in his expression, but surely noticed it. 

His concentration was distracted by the thought of Haechan all day, and as lunch neared, he started to dread it more and more. Lunch meant sitting at a table with Haechan, watching him flirt with Yoona all over again. Something in him hoped for their date to change that, but everything else in him knew that date meant nothing to Haechan.

As he sat down beside Chenle, Haechan sat opposite him, staring expectantly at the younger. 

“Did you get my texts?” Haechan leaned over.

Sungchan shook his head. “My phone died.”

“Well, are you available after school?” Haechan tilted his head to get a better view of Sungchan’s face that seemingly avoided eye contact with the elder. Chenle stepped away from the commotion, claiming to be finding Jaemin’s whereabouts.

“Why?”

“I want to hang out together.”

Sungchan sighed. “I suppose I can come over.”

He knew he sounded like he didn’t want to, but he did. He just didn’t want to deal with the angst of knowing Haechan’s actions were fake all over again. His heart can handle the fake hand holding and the fake fondness in front of parents, but it can’t handle knowing Haechan’s hands on his waist and lips on his were just an act. 

Haechan smiled at him before focusing on his food again. Sungchan looked around, and realised Yoona wasn’t sitting with them. They were alone.

“Where’s Yoona?”   
  
“She didn’t come today.” Haechan said. “I can’t really explain why though.”   
  
Sungchan nodded, indicating that it was fine. It was always fine. Yoona’s business wasn’t for Sungchan to know, and he understood that.

“Is she okay at least?” 

“She’s fine.” Haechan grinned, tight-lipped and fake. Sungchan was getting tired of that word.

Lunch ended without much more interaction between the two, so Sungchan left quickly, telling Haechan that he’d see him tonight. 

On the way to his locker, he spotted Jaemin and Renjun sitting in a secluded corner together. Their hands were linked and their lips were moving against each other, smiles caught in the mix. He forced himself to look away after realising how weird it was to intrude on their private moments, and when seeing two people be genuinely in love became too much for Sungchan to bear.

The image made him remember Friday night when Haechan’s lips moved passionately against his. His lips had been softer than the volant kiss they shared at Sungchan’s front door, and the way Haechan placed his hands on Sungchan’s cheek had made the kiss all the more memorable than the first. Sungchan wanted to eradicate the first kiss from his memory, and pretend the one on the chair lift was their first shared kiss but he didn’t.

He didn’t for every reason under the sun, but mainly because he wanted to memorise Haechan’s lips and how they feel on his.

He sat through his last class with the kiss on his mind, replaying the scene over and over again as if it had happened in a dream. Haechan had smiled widely when Sungchan had leaned in again, and as he tried to focus on the voice of his English teacher, his heart thumped in his chest from the memory. 

All of it felt too real to be fake. Sungchan wanted to believe that Haechan’s smile held the same meaning that Sungchan’s dazed look and tired fingers gripping the latters’ shirt held. 

He pushed the scene out of his head, focusing on the lesson instead so his grades don’t start to drop. It was unlike him to have a distraction from his schoolwork, but he knew he wouldn’t have many troubles keeping up with it all. His studying habits were hard to break when he spent majority of his early teen years building them up.

When he walked to his locker again, he spotted Jungwoo walking towards him. He’d never conversed with the boy one-on-one before, or had a reason to, so he fished around his head for a reason regarding the sudden interaction.

“You’re Haechan’s new boy, right?” Jungwoo leaned against his locker, arms crossed tightly.

Sungchan proceeded to move things around his locker, deciding to not give Jungwoo his full attention. “Why do you care?”

“Well, you’re pretty popular around here for being Haechan’s bodyguard, and I just wanted to know why. What’s he offering you that makes you step in like that?”

Sungchan’s stomach dropped at the question. He hated how some people referred to Haechan as someone who cared for no one but himself; knowing they were just seeing an artificial image of him.

“He’s my friend.” Sungchan answered, closing his locker. 

“There’s not much personal gain for you in that.”   
  
“And why should you care?” Sungchan squinted at the latter, internally thanking his height for giving him some intimidation points. 

“I’m just saying it won’t be long till he gets bored of you.” Jungwoo said with a smile as if he was giving Sungchan ice cream. “He’s like that, you know. Aloof is the word for it, but I prefer to call him a self-centered cocky bastard.”   
  
Sungchan blinked. “Be careful there mate. All that anger isn’t getting you anywhere good in life.”

He walked away before Jungwoo could say more, slinging his bag onto his shoulder and pushing the exit door open for him to step out. Kids were bustling everywhere outside, rushing to get home or find a ride to get them home quickly. Mondays were always a day where the majority kept to themselves. 

Unfortunately for Sungchan, Haechan wasn’t the majority. As he began the walk to his favourite coffee shop, he spotted Haechan in his car, next to the gate he was exiting from.

“Hey.” Haechan put the window down. “Jump in.”

He sighed, climbing in without much hesitation. 

Haechan leaned over, lips merely inches away from his ear. Sungchan could feel his hot breath as he spoke.

“Up for another date?”

“Why do you want to go on another date?” Sungchan interrogated, pushing Haechan away with a pang to his heart.

“I enjoyed the first one.” He said. “Besides, we’re boyfriends. Boyfriends go on dates.”

Sungchan looked at him, realising the car was in park and Haechan’s full attention was on him. He tried not to blush under the curious stare from the elder.

“But we’re fake boyfriends.” He blanked.

“So?” Haechan smiled. “We can still go on dates, we’re young, might as well have fun with this act while we can.”

Sungchan felt another pang to his heart, this time it was unexpected and a hundred times worse to deal with than the first. Haechan’s words just confirmed that the kisses and soft touches were all an act, a simple stunt for his entertainment.

Sungchan looked at Haechan, willing the tears to stay at bay inside his eyes.

Jungwoo’s words ringed in the back of his head, the thought of Haechan getting bored of him made him feel sick. He didn’t want to let that happen.

“Alright.” He smiled, gripping Haechan’s fingers between his. “Let’s go on another date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pray for my man sungchan, he ain't dead, he's just oblivious as fuck
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/aurensle?s=21) [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/aurensle)


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi yall!! first work of 2021 lets get ittttt
> 
> i hope you enjoy this chapterrr it took forever to prepare lol i have like 5k of just deleted scenes because of this chapter
> 
> the relevant tw's are: homophobia, alcohol/consumption of alcohol and references to abuse. it isn't too heavy but anyone who gets triggered by these, feel free to skip parts or not read!!!! stay safe <3
> 
> ALSO: if you keep up with me/my works, i'll be lacking updates here for a while to focus on my other chaptered fic and a secret new work i have coming soon :]

Sungchan thought he knew Haechan beyond the image the boy presents himself with. With all the time he’s  been accompanied with  Haechan, he thought he was seeing a side of him that others didn’t see, but slowly he was realising that he isn’t as special as he wanted himself to be. 

There were plenty other people in town who’d felt Haechan’s lips on theirs, felt his hand in theirs and gotten flustered by his words when it’s spoken impossibly close to their ear. 

He wanted all those moments to be something only he’s experienced, but it was irreversible now. It put him in a constant state of wondering how well he actually knows Haechan. Was he special or was he just another person for Haechan to make out with?

He decided to pretend that he wasn’t affected. The only plausible way to get through this was to pretend. He pretended to enjoy this fake act Haechan has going with him, and pretended to be the boyfriend of someone he so desperately wants to spend his teenage years with, getting drunk off everything Haechan has to offer. 

It was the only option Sungchan saw beneficial to both of them — although he realised Haechan has never told him why he wants to be in a fake relationship with him in particular.

Alas, their second date went swiftly, despite the guilt that lay in the pit of Sungchan’s stomach, shouting at him to do something to stop this facade before it exploited into something neither of them could fix. He was aware that he was pushing himself into a state of mind that would be hard to get out of. He knew what he was putting at stake when he slapped on a smile, and followed Haechan’s flirtatious acts during their dinner date. Even when Haechan leaned over to intertwine their fingers, he knew any more of these acts would throw him into the deep end of love, where it’d be impossible to escape if Haechan is continuing to make his hands shake and cheeks redden. 

Their next few dates went just like that too, Sungchan telling himself to not blow up and question why all this had to be fake, while Haechan happily flirted with him and did everything possible to make the younger flustered. Sungchan concluded that Haechan did indeed enjoy making him flustered, whether it be with a few flirtatious words or it be due to the way Haechan always went out of his way to touch Sungchan in places his other friends don’t go near.

He was always resting his hands on Sungchan’s lower waist, threading it under the shirt to ghost his fingers along Sungchan’s skin, sometimes searching for his legs under the table simply to rub his foot along the youngers’ leg, smirking at the blush it caused. It was amazing, but it also made Sungchan want to rip his hair out. Haechan was so flirty,  _ too  _ flirty, and Sungchan was truly having trouble figuring out if any of it was real.

He tried to pretend that it was, that Haechan actually liked him, and that he was the reason for Haechan’s sudden change in his tendency to make out with any girl he sees at the parties he drags Sungchan along to. His heart raced at the thought of being the reason.

The only change Sungchan hadn’t seen yet was with Yoona. The hickeys stopped appearing on Haechan’s neck, but whenever he saw Yoona, there were hickeys on hers. He assumed that maybe she got a partner, someone who wasn’t Haechan, but when he was standing alongside Jaemin at another party, he deflated when he saw Haechan with his mouth attached to her neck.

“Are they a couple?” He asked, nudging Jaemin to show him who he’s referring to. The elder squinted across the room, making a disgusted face when he spotted Haechan with Yoona. Sungchan was glad he wasn’t the only one who was grossed out.

“They’re not,” Jaemin said. “At least I don’t think they are. Didn’t Haechan tell his parents you’re dating him though, what happened with that?”

Sungchan sighed. “It’s complicated.”

Jaemin chuckled, lifting the cup to his lips. “It always is with Haechan. Good luck.”

He wanted to smile or thank him, but thinking about his words, he decided it didn’t deserve any thanks. Haechan wasn’t complicated, Sungchan didn’t want to call him that. Maybe confusing was the right word to describe him. Or aloof, as Chenle always said. 

However, Sungchan realised being teenagers meant they had their whole lives ahead of them to figure each other out, and if it doesn’t work it, it wasn’t meant to be. It was as simple as that — except maybe he just wanted it to be. 

He felt out of place when Jaemin left him alone. The alcohol didn’t even taste good enough to stick around for. Sungchan also noticed Joseph standing in the corner, surrounded by a few girls, although his eyes weren’t on any of them. Sungchan walked out the front door, away from the party after realising Joseph was watching Yoona and Haechan make out. He couldn’t handle whatever scene that’d create. 

As his absence wasn’t noticed, he resided in his bedroom, humming to create some noise in the empty house. He didn’t know where his mother was, but judging that it was eleven pm on a Friday, she was most likely on a date with Hyerin again. He supposed she might not come home, so he locked all the doors and covered his legs with a blanket on the couch as he turned the TV on; finally giving himself a break from studying.

When there was a knock on the front door, Sungchan abandoned the blanket to answer it, checking the peephole briefly before letting his mother in.

“Are you okay?” He asked, helping her inside as tears streamed down her face. “What happened?”

She didn’t answer, simply stumbling onto the couch with her head in her hands. Sungchan sat beside her, waiting for her to speak as he awkwardly rubbed a hand along her back.

After moments of silence, her sobs slowed down and she started to clean up the tears streaking her face. Sungchan sat still, remaining quiet as he waited.

“Your dad is back.” She said.

—

He found himself on the edge of Haechan’s pool with a drink in hand and feet wallowing around the surface of the water. It was unlike him to drink so heavily in the morning, but he let himself off due to the stress of learning his father wants back into his life.

His mother cried to him about how his father had shown up out of the blue, when she was getting ready to leave the house, demanding her to let Sungchan back into his life. She’d simply disagreed, and told him to get out before leaving after he finally stormed out, travelling to Hyerin to speak to her about it. When Sungchan had asked why she didn’t let his father back in, she’d cried more and apologised, telling him he can make his own decisions about it but in a drunk haze, begged him to not affiliate himself with his father. 

It left him concerned, and turning to Haechan for a distraction.

He realised how selfish that was as he stared at his drink, knowing how upset he was when Haechan distracted himself from life issues with Yoona and the works of her mouth.

Haechan had let him in with open arms, knowing something was off when Sungchan showed up with hunched shoulders and a wavering voice. Haechan hadn’t been opposed to letting him drink either, but as two drinks turned into four and four turned into six, the smaller boy started to be weary of letting Sungchan have more. It was too early on a Saturday morning to be drinking.

The drink was bitter, but it did the job of satisfying his palate. He wondered how he’d get home without his mother seeing how drunk he was, before considering staying with Haechan until he sobered up. He wanted to stay, but he didn’t want to cross a line. He didn’t want Haechan to see him as just another drunk friend who’s crashing at his place to avoid a parental lecture.

“Hey, that’s enough,” Haechan’s tone was soft and caring, taking the drink out of Sungchan’s hands, “It’s so early Sungchan-ah.”

“I don’t care.” Sungchan mumbled, leaning forward to rest his head on Haechan’s head as the elder stood on his tiptoes in the water. His hands went from his lap to Haechan’s chest, mindlessly moving across his body.

“Sungchan.” Haechan grunted, as if he was warning the boy about his actions.

Sungchan hummed in response, hands still roaming Haechan’s shirtless body. He was too intoxicated to register what he was doing. His mind had gone into autopilot, grazing over Haechan’s body to learn every detail, ingraining it in his memory. 

His heart thumped in chest once again at the interaction, but his senses were too heightened right now to focus on the beat of his heart or the blush that crept up his neck, onto his cheeks. 

“What are you doing?” Haechan made no attempt to stop him.

“Your chest. Touching it.” Sungchan slurred, too drunk to form proper sentences. “Always wanted to touch it.”

Haechan blushed, biting back a smile before placing his hands on Sungchan’s. 

“You’re too drunk for this.” Haechan said, feeling familiarity on his tongue as he murmured the same words that Sungchan had said to him months ago when he drunkenly tried to kiss the younger.

“No I’m not.” Sungchan mumbled. “You just don’t want me.”

His voice broke off with a crack as he leaned away, taking his hands off Haechan’s body. Haechan stared at him bewildered, before climbing out of the pool to lean down beside him.

“You need to sober up Sungchan.” Haechan pulled him off the ground, doing his best to drag the taller boy into his house despite still being covered in water. Sungchan relished in the idea that he was a priority to Haechan in that moment as he dragged water through his house.

Haechan let him sit on the bed before covering himself in a towel, leaving the room quickly to bring Sungchan water. After Sungchan had drank a few cups, he noticed Haechan standing by the door, eyes widened as he watched Sungchan.

“Hey.” He muttered, “Sleep here for a bit and sober up.”

Sungchan nodded, laying down as Haechan adjusted the covers to lift up to his chin, gripping the sheets once Haechan let go. Before the elder walked out, he mumbled a small thanks under his breath, closing his eyes before Haechan could respond.   
  


—

Sungchan went home before Haechan could talk to him about what happened. He wanted to avoid talking about it, and if that meant avoiding Haechan too, he’d do it. He knew his actions had chipped at their dynamics, making everything awkward when he woke up to see Haechan looking at him with a brand new expression behind his eyes. It was scary. He didn’t want to mess anything up by letting his true feelings into the open.

He rolled around in his own bed, waking up Sunday afternoon after losing hours of sleep from dwelling over Haechan and how he touched him so intimately without explaining why. He remembered how he ran his hands all over Haechan’s chest, disregarding any thoughts that told him to stop.

He had hundreds of questions floating his head— Why did he touch Haechan’s chest like that? Why didn’t Haechan stop him? Why did it feel so good? Why does he want to do it again? Did Haechan like it?

He walked into the kitchen, noticing his mother at the table with a coffee in hand as she stared at nothing. Ever since she came home crying, she’d been acting differently. He knew it was because she had no idea how to handle the prospect of his father coming back into their lives after the horrid memories she had with him. She’d never be free from the hurt his father caused, and it pained Sungchan because there was nothing he could do about it. 

He didn’t even know what his father looked like, only remembering small details from photographs, but knowing he wouldn’t be able to recall them if he passed his father on the street.

He sat opposite his mother, eating the first meal of the day silently while she still hadn’t snapped out of her reverie of thoughts. He wanted to pull her out of there, thinking if she got stuck in the mayhem of negativity swirling her head, she’d never recover from it. Being a single mother with a nine-five job was hard enough, now she was dealing with a man who has no regard for her safety. Sungchan assumed he had no regard for her safety if she always reacted the way she did whenever he was brought up. It was painful to know nothing about his father, not even how dangerous this situation was for his mother. 

“Are you okay?” He shook her arm, bringing her back to reality. She smiled at him once she realised it was just her son, the only man who’d been there for her since he was little.

“I’m fine.” She drank her coffee. “Just distracted. Work is busy and all.”

He nodded, wondering how mature she thought he was if she thought he’d believe that lie. 

She wasn’t thinking about work at all, he knew because she’s never had a problem at work. She was thinking about his father, but she didn’t want to slip up again like she did a week ago.

—

The end of the school year was creeping upon them, and Sungchan had exams to focus on. His life was so busy, but he decided it’d be best to occupy his time with that instead of the issues with his father or the questions regarding Haechan. 

He hadn’t seen Haechan since they were at his pool together. Sungchan had left his house without much explanation, and since then hadn’t seen him all week.

In the past, he was always studying back in his hometown, so it wasn’t unusual for his mother to walk in and spot him at his desk with an array of books, highlighting certain areas and clicking the pen in his hand multiple times before writing something down.

He was good at it.

Studying was his speciality, and it always showed in his exams that he studied well. These ones were more serious than previous exams he’s done. These ones went to his final score, and decided if he’s capable of going into the final year of high school. 

It made him nervous. Sungchan was aware that he’d pass, but he worked hard now to pass with the highest mark he can manage. After all, part of this score will also be a deciding factor in his uni applications. 

He just wondered if Haechan was preparing like him, or if the latter had different plans. It’d never been a topic of discussion between the two, and he felt himself deflated at his desk as he realised he didn’t know much about Haechan outside of his bad boy image. Sungchan really wasn’t any different than the kids at school.

When he walked into school the next day, tired from studying all night, Haechan ran up to him and he let it happen. He was too tired to avoid the elder, plus he missed the tingling feeling on his skin that remains after Haechan has touched him.

He paused at his locker, moving books around again as Haechan leaned on the side. He failed to suppress a yawn as he closed his locker again.

“Do you wanna skip with me?” Haechan asked. 

“Not really.” Sungchan responded, swinging his bag onto his back. “Go to class Haechan, I’ll see you later.”

Haechan’s hand grasped his arm before he could begin to walk off. “Wait, please. It’s just one day, you won’t miss much.”

Sungchan sighed, rubbing his face. “Exams are coming soon.”

The wind was knocked out of him when Haechan pulled him from his locker, linking their hands together, towards the exit at the end of the hall. They didn’t go far as Sungchan pulled his hand out of Haechan’s just as an announcement came across the speakers, asking for Jung Sungchan to see to Mr Choi’s office. 

He looked at Haechan with a confused expression, telling him he needs to go, heading in the opposite direction for Mr Choi’s office. He deflated at the thought of not spending time with Haechan, but knew it was a better idea to stay in school during exam season.

He walked to Mr Choi’s office door, entering with anticipation running through his fingertips, making his heart beat pump faster than usual. He’d never been called to the principal’s office before, so he just hoped it wouldn’t be an awkward visit.

Mr Choi asked him to take a seat, kindly gesturing to the chair in front of his desk with a smile. 

“Is there something you wanted to discuss with me?” Sungchan asked wearily, wracking his brain for a reason.

“Ah yes, I wanted to discuss your relations with Haechan actually.” He said, hands grasped together atop the desk. Sungchan nodded despite feeling nervous for what Mr Choi would have to say to him in relation to Haechan. “It seems like you get involved in the fights he involves himself in, for the benefit of pulling him out of these fights. I hope you know from a fathers’ perspective, I am thankful that you stick up for him but as a principal, I must ask you to refrain from that behaviour but also to try making sure Haechan doesn’t get into these fights.”

“Uhm,” Sungchan cleared his throat, “I’m sorry but I don’t understand how I could stop him from getting into these fights. It’s the other student who provokes him nearly every time.”

Mr Choi sighed. “You see Sungchan, as the principal I see to the complaints from parents and any external parties, and over the past few months, I’ve received too many complaints regarding Haechan to look past. I want you to know that if he doesn’t refrain from involving himself in these fights that put other students in danger, I’m going to have to suspend him for the rest of the year and recommend him to the school districts’ pupil therapist.”

“What’s therapy supposed to do?”

“He has a temper, and too much anger. Therapy would help settle that.”

Sungchan nodded, trying to wrap his head around the information. He didn’t like how his own principal was putting him in charge of Haechan like he was some dog that Sungchan owns. Haechan’s business was his own, but Sungchan realised this was something he’d gotten himself involved with and Haechan had let him. He also now realises that Haechan needs him to be the one to ground him, just like his mother asked.

“If it’s too much, I can just call his parents in.” Mr Choi smiled, staring at him as he awaited a response.

“No, that’s fine,” Sungchan came back to his senses. “I can handle it. Thank you Mr Choi.”

“Thank you son.” He smiled. “Off to class now.”

Sungchan exited the room, slightly creeped by his tendency to refer to male pupils as his son. He felt bad as it was most likely due to the disappointment that is his real son Joseph. 

He walked to the next class, glad that Haechan had left as he knew the boy would be curious about why he was called in. The thought made Sungchan’s heart sink. He couldn’t tell Haechan the reason Mr Choi had called him in. It’d crush him.

He decided the best idea was to talk to Hyerin about it. She seemed like the best person to turn to with something like this.

—

Exam week started with Sungchan cramping himself in his bedroom everyday to get as much studying in as possible. He was starting to feel the effects of spending so much time alone, realising his move to this new town had made him more social and used to being around at least one other person.

He knew Chenle and Jaemin were busy studying too, whilst Haechan was busy bothering him to come over. It made his heart race, but also made him shut his phone off and shove it in the drawer beside his desk so he couldn’t give into the temptation that was seeing Haechan.

His mother wasn’t home, informing Sungchan earlier that she had some things to arrange at work and would only be home later. He wanted to believe that she was at work, but he was almost certain she was doing something else. It didn’t make sense to be at work on a Saturday. He tried to not let the thoughts of his father interrupt his studying either, knowing his results can easily be altered if he lets personal matters interfere with his school performance.

In his old town, he didn’t have personal matters that could interfere with his schooling. He didn’t know whether to be happy or annoyed that he had distractions now. 

When the time got close to three, Sungchan shrugged a jacket on, turning his phone on again just to blush at the array of messages from Haechan, exiting through his front door to set off to the coffee shop he always went to after school. The wind blew against his sleeves, turning his nose red as he rubbed his hands together and blew into them for warmth. 

The coffee warmed his hands as it rested on the small table Sungchan sat at. The shop was pretty empty despite the shops bustling with people. It made Sungchan feel overwhelmed by loneliness so he found himself smiling at the barista before listening to the bells of the front door ring behind him, trekking back to his house.

His phone pinged again as he sat at his desk, but he decided he’d respond to Haechan’s texts a little later. Setting his coffee aside, he began to study again.

A knock at his front door interrupted his studying, pulling him away from his desk. He didn’t expect Haechan to come all the way over here just because he wasn’t answering his texts, but supposed he was bored enough.

When he opened the door, his heart dropped. 

“Hi son.” The man smiled, “Is your mother here?”

“Who are you calling son?”

It was his father. His features resembled the ones he’d seen in photos, even his sly smirk was the same. Sungchan realised over the years he hasn’t changed much, and it was easy for him to recognise the man as the same one in all those photos he’d seen. However, he was still scared. He didn’t know if his father was dangerous or not, but judging by his mothers’ sobs when she told him to not get involved with his father, Sungchan put himself on alert.

“Don’t be like that Sungchan,” His father smirked. “Can I come in?”

“No.” Sungchan responded, nervously gripping the door tighter.

His father’s smirk changed slowly into a grim flat line. Sungchan’s heart pounded in his chest. He realised it was a good idea to have let Haechan come over today. His phone was still up in his room, so with a heavy heart, he let his father inside, telling him to wait in the kitchen as he ran to his room.

His breathing sped up as he searched for his phone, tapping his screen rapidly to tell Haechan to come over, blatantly telling him he needs him right now. 

“Don’t touch that.” Sungchan said as he walked into the kitchen again, watching his father run his hands over the counter. “Why are you here?”

“To see you Sungchan,” His father smiled. “How have you been?”

“Just fine.” Sungchan wondered how long it’d take for Haechan to come over, hating this awkward interaction. There was an itch inside him to get to know his father, but it’s only been a few minutes, and he’s gathered that he doesn’t enjoy the presence of this man. He supposed it was normal to want to know your father, no matter what kind of person they are, because parents are supposed to be people you look up to. 

He was glad he had at least one parent he could look up to. And Hyerin.

“Is Heeyeon home?” He watched nervously as his father dragged his hand across the kitchen bench as if he was examining the material between his fingertips, raising his hand to his face before clapping his hands together to rid his palms of any dust picked up from the bench. The way he analysed the home as if to judge whether they were doing good without him made Sungchan sick to his stomach.

His father had no right walking in here, inspecting the place and acting like everything was alright. He had no right to mess with Sungchan and his mothers’ lives just to walk back in like he didn’t do anything. 

“She’s obviously not.” Sungchan deadpanned, “I’m busy too, so I suggest you leave.”

“No can do son.” His father smirked again, supporting his creepy smile with a wink that made Sungchan check his phone, feeling a rush of relief at Haechan’s text saying he was coming as fast as the speed limit would take him.

He tried to ignore the secure feeling that came from knowing Haechan was coming over, and when aware of the situation, would step in to make sure Sungchan’s okay. He took advantage of the swarming feeling of warmth at knowing his relationship with Haechan was strong enough for him to know he was protected by the elder, even if their relationship was awkward sometimes and wasn’t the exact one Sungchan wanted.

Sungchan let out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding when the sound of knuckles on his front door riveted through the house, cutting through his fathers’ words, bringing the man to a surprised halt.

“Is that Heeyeon?” He tilted his head, smirk still unresolved on his face.

Sungchan shook his head, walking to the door as his father stayed in the kitchen. The barrier that the kitchen bench provided between Sungchan and the man who he was doomed to call his father was enough to make Sungchan feel safe, but when he opened the door and Haechan stood there, hands in his back pockets with a smile that made Sungchan’s insides churn, he felt safer. 

“Hi,” Haechan breathed.

“Hey.” Sungchan smiled, nearly forgetting about his father from how wrapped up in Haechan’s smile he was.

“Can I come in?” Haechan tried peering behind Sungchan, looking at the younger with furrowed eyebrows when he moved to block Haechan from seeing behind him. 

“Just—” Sungchan pushed Haechan back, stepping outside beside him, knowing his father wouldn’t hear if he stepped out for a moment, “My father is here. This is the first time I’ve seen him in over ten years, and I think he’s more dangerous than safe to be around so please help. My mum isn’t home, and he keeps asking all these questions and I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry for dragging you here—”

“Sungchan.” Haechan interrupted, gripping the youngers’ arms. “Calm down. Is he inside?”   
  
Sungchan nodded, mouth forming an O-shape as Haechan gently pushed him aside, walking into the house without hesitation. He scrambled to follow, closing the door and walking into the kitchen again where Haechan stood in the kitchen with his father. The bench wasn’t separating them, and Sungchan desperately wanted to pull Haechan back so there was distance between them, but Haechan didn’t look like he’d budge from where he was standing and glaring at the man.

“Who are you?” His father said, “Sungchan. Where’s your mother?”

“I told you she isn’t home.” Sungchan shrugged from behind Haechan.

His father sighed, evidently trying to keep his anger at bay so Haechan didn’t see it. Sungchan recognised the anger in his eyes, feeling an overwhelming sense of familiarity behind it. 

He shook it off, realising it would only cause unwanted memories if he kept focusing on it. He turned his attention to the situation at hand, watching Haechan’s lips move as he spoke calmly to his father.

“I think you should leave.” Haechan said, “You’re not wanted here.”

“Don’t tell me I’m not wanted in my own house!”

“This isn’t your house.” Sungchan interrupted, looking at his father directly. “You’ve never lived here or had anything to do with this house.”

“There’s so much you don’t know Sungchan.” His fathers’ words made his heart beat faster in his chest, confused at the meaning of those words. Did his father really have something to do with this house? Was he just trying to get into Sungchan’s head?

“You need to go.” Haechan said, arm reaching behind him to wrap around Sungchan’s front, fingers hooking around the youngers’ waist.

His father stared at the interaction, smirk falling from his lips.

“You’re just like your mother, aren’t you Sungchan?” His words made the uncomfortable feeling in Sungchan’s stomach stir and climb to his throat, running the passage dry.

Haechan stood tall, hand not falling from Sungchan’s waist as he waited for the mans’ next words. They both stood anticipatingly, wondering what his words meant.

“Did you know your mother left me and it wasn’t the other way around?” He leaned against the wall, smirk coming back. “She told me to leave, that we were over, and when I came back a week later to collect my things, she was in bed with someone else. A woman to be exact.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Sungchan interrupted, distress dripping in his tone. Haechan squeezed his waist, assuring him that he was there.

“Because you’re just like her.” His father said. “Just like how your mother fools around with the same gender, you aren’t any different. This boy, right here, isn’t doing you any good Sungchan. You need to be with a girl, you need to be with someone who can give you kids like I gave your mother one instead of running off with a man who’ll do nothing but ruin your chance at a good life.”

Sungchan didn’t know how to respond to that, creeping closer to Haechan at the lecture that made him want to cry. He couldn’t change that he wasn’t attracted to girls. 

“Get out.” Haechan shouted, “Get out before I call the police.”

His father smirked, knowing he’d hit a sensitive spot. As if to threaten both of them, he walked out, knocking Haechan’s shoulder hard before slamming the front door.

Sungchan sank into the chair behind him, hands covering his face as his shoulders shook, letting the tears go. Haechan knelt in front of him, prying his hands off his face to cup Sungchan’s face and wipe his tears.

“It’s okay,” Haechan mumbled, “He’s gone now.”   
  
“He’ll be back.” Sungchan cried.

Haechan pouted, upset to not know how to comfort the younger. The tears rolled down his face, covering Haechan’s hands before Sungchan pulled away, covering his face with his arms, embarrassed that he was crying in front of Haechan. He didn’t want Haechan to see him in such a vulnerable state.

He’s only ever cried in front of his mum, so this was new for him. He didn’t want to be seen as weak in front of Haechan, but knew the elder wouldn’t think that as his thumb caressed Sungchan’s cheeks. 

“I don’t know what my mum and I will do if he comes back.” Sungchan whispered.

—

He never told his mother about that ordeal, deciding it’d be best to pretend it never happened. After Haechan had made sure he was okay, he’d asked to stay, but Sungchan made him leave. He didn’t want Haechan to think he needed to protect Sungchan from his own dad. It was a stubborn move, but Sungchan decided it was the best thing he could do to make Haechan think his family is like his; normal. He didn’t want Haechan to know the dynamics of his family, despite seeing it first hand. He hoped Haechan would forget about it, so long as Sungchan can get his shit together and keep Haechan away from it.

He also tried to not be jealous of the fact that Haechan’s parents were still together, and both accepting of Haechan’s sexuality. He wanted that if it weren’t for his father being the worst person possible.

When his mother had come home, she’d asked why he was so jumpy, and he simply used the exams as his excuse. She’d believed it momentarily, deciding if he didn’t want to tell her, she wouldn’t press for answers. That’s how their relationship worked. They respected each other and their boundaries, unlike his father. 

It’d been his first interaction with his father since he left, which was when Sungchan was four. He tried to sleep without thinking about it, but couldn’t help letting tears fall as he tried to keep his cries quiet. He didn’t want his mother to hear.

—

Exam week ended with Sungchan managing to get through each exam with a sense of relief and pride because he knew he’d done well. He tried to distract himself with the success of his exams, but soon found himself dragged to a party to celebrate the end of what was deemed hell week for the kids who loved parties, booze and making out with strangers over what Sungchan liked; studying. 

He was on the couch in someone’s living room, squashed between Jaemin and someone he didn’t know other than the fact that the drink in their hand stunk. His drink had been abandoned minutes ago after he saw Haechan walking around the garden with a drink in hand. He didn’t want to get drunk in front of Haechan again, especially a drunk Haechan. He also wanted to make sure Haechan got home safely.

There was a noise from the other side of the room, bringing Sungchan out of his thoughts.

“Anyone up for a game?” The guy yelled, getting the attention of practically everyone in the room. 

The music was turned down so it mellowly filled in the empty spaces that went unfilled by the whispers and loud voices of the teenagers as they gathered around to play nearly every typical house party game in the book. Sungchan joined thanks to Jaemin giving him no choice, pulling him back into the seat after he’d tried to leave.

He focused on the game, wanting to drown out the fact that Haechan was across the room, occasionally staring at the younger.

After the first few rounds of spin the bottle, the floorboards creaked as Haechan crossed the room, standing in front of the person beside Sungchan.

“Can I sit there?”

She looked up at him, too drunk to care, shrugging and walking off to find a seat elsewhere. Haechan sunk into the seat, sighing before looking at Sungchan. The alcohol he had earlier exempted him from keeping calm, feeling his cheeks redden at their proximity.

“Hey,” Haechan mumbled, “We haven’t talked much, since that night.”

Sungchan nodded, eyes fixated on the bottle that spun on the floor after the flick of someone’s fingers, wondering why Haechan was even next to him. Parties were Haechan’s outlet to go crazy, forget about the world in favour of attaching his lips to someone’s neck.

“Are you alright?” Haechan leaned closer as if his next words weren’t to be heard by anyone but Sungchan, “Your dad didn’t come back, right?”   
  
“I don’t want to talk about him.” Sungchan bit back, “But if you’re wondering, no, he didn’t come back.”

Haechan turned away again, nodding before realising Sungchan was sensitive right now. He was too young to understand how to handle all this, so he was avoiding it. His only solution to his problems was to run from them.

“I’m going home.” Sungchan mumbled, facing Jaemin as if to ignore Haechan’s presence.

He got up, beginning to walk away when Haechan’s hand was on his arm again. This time his grip was tighter than it was outside his house last week, this time Sungchan knew he wasn’t holding onto him to ground him.

“Let me drive you.” Haechan said, looking into his eyes with hope. Sungchan looked away.

“You’ve drunk too much, I’m just gonna walk.” Sungchan said. Jaemin watched their interaction, anticipating a gap for him to jump in if need be.

“I’ve had two beers.” Haechan stood up, “Let me drive you home.”

Sungchan sighed. “Fine.”

“I’ll catch you later.” Haechan mumbled to Jaemin, tapping his shoulder. The other boy grinned tight lipped at him, sensing the awkward tension between the two but not knowing if a party was the appropriate place to address it.

Sungchan rested his head on the window of Haechan’s car as he drove down the street, only slowing when they reached his house. They climbed out of the car, walking to Sungchan’s front door together.

“You don’t have to walk me to my front door Haechan.” Sungchan giggled, “You’re really going all out with this fake act. No one can see us here.”

Haechan simply smiled, stopping outside the door as Sungchan took a step forward to open it and step inside. He turned around to see Haechan off, smiling at the smaller boy, licking his lips as they stared at each other. His eyes read something that Sungchan was too tired to decipher, but something in the back of his head registered it as care. Haechan cared about him.

“Do you need anything else?” Sungchan broke the silence, feeling warm under Haechan’s glance.

He shook his head, doing the classic smile at the ground and rubbing the back of his neck before looking up again.

“I’ll see you at school on Monday, Sungchan. Have a good weekend.” Haechan turned around, getting into his car again.

Sungchan leaned against the doorframe, allowing himself to wave at the elder before closing the door and sighing. He turned around to see his mother in the kitchen, coffee in hand and intense crease in her forehead that made it evident that she was thinking about something.

He walked in, smiling at her before opening the fridge, searching for something to fill his empty stomach before he heads upstairs to sleep.

She didn’t move from where she was standing, coffee now placed on the bench next to her, arms crossed across her body as she watched Sungchan move around the kitchen. 

He only stopped when he made eye contact with her again, eyes widened to ask what was wrong.

“Your father came over last week.” She sighed, “You were home and met him. Why didn’t you tell me?”   
  
“Oh,” Sungchan looked down, guilt erupting through him. He didn’t think she’d find out so soon.

“Yeah. Oh.” She raised her voice from a whisper to a stern snap. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She said again with more fire in her voice.

“I didn’t want you to panic,” He mumbled. “You were so upset the first time he came around. I didn’t want to see you like that again.”

She sighed disappointedly, making Sungchan feel like a child being scolded. He stared at the cold food, deciding he didn’t have the appetite for it. He left it on the bench, stepping away from it.

“I’m going to bed.”

“No.” She stepped forward, “We have to talk about this Sungchan.”   
  
“Not right now.” He mumbled. “I’m tired.”

She slumped against the same corner his father had once been in, watching Sungchan venture off to his room, turning around to stare at her coffee. When he got to his bedroom door, he heard a smack against the kitchen cupboard doors.

He laid awake for hours, not catching a wink of sleep as his brain wouldn’t let him. Every little thing that was happening in his life ran through his mind. Mr Choi’s words, Haechan going to therapy if he doesn’t keep him in check, their fake relationship, his father, the safety of his mother. It was too much for him.

He grabbed his phone around two am, typing a message in the chat bubble to Haechan, staring at the bright screen for a few minutes, deleting it before he could hit send, throwing his phone on the other side of his bed. He covered his eyes with his arm, feeling the tears well up again.

He tried pushing them away, not wanting to cry himself to sleep for the second night in a row. Instead, his eyes found the wall until they grew tired, and he finally slipped into slumber.

—

When he entered the kitchen the next morning, his mother was waiting for him, breakfast set on the table for three. He sat in his usual seat, eyeing the extra plate, trying to figure out if it was for Hyerin or someone else. He prayed it was for Hyerin.

“We need to talk before Hyerin gets here.” She sat opposite him, hands clasped together in a way that reminded Sungchan of his principal. It was a professional gesture, but it also screamed that if they didn’t talk about this now, the problem would just get bigger. “Did he threaten you?”   
  
Sungchan remembered the words his father spewed about how Haechan was wasting his time, distracting him from a desired marriage with a woman who’d give him kids. He shivered before pushing the thought aside.

“No, he was just weird. Kept asking where you were.” 

She looked down, hiding the panic in her eyes. A knock at their front door interrupted the conversation, and Sungchan had never been more relieved to see Hyerin. He hoped she’d stay all day so he could find a moment alone with her. He wanted to ask for advice regarding Haechan, deciding nothing good would come out of their fake relationship if he didn’t talk to someone who could help him figure out what to do.

She sat by the extra plate, digging into the food, failing to pick up on the awkward tension between Sungchan and his mother. She distracted them with conversation, soon turning the awkwardness into a comfortable chat that involved Sungchan ignoring his mothers’ glances and worried creases in her forehead.

After breakfast, his mother announced that she was going grocery shopping. When Hyerin offered to go with, Sungchan asked her to stay.

“I have something to talk to you about.” He said, “It’s about a boy.”

He didn’t want his mother to think it was about his father. Hyerin beamed at him, remembering Haechan, nearly pushing his mother out the door so she could hear what he had to say as soon as possible. He wondered if his mother was actually going to buy groceries, or if that was her excuse as she leaves to sort out this business with her father. He prayed she was just buying groceries.

“Is this about Haechan?” She grinned, sitting on the couch and patting the seat next to her. Sungchan sat where she was patting, putting a pillow on his lap to rest his elbows on.

“Yes, but I may have lied when I said he’s my boyfriend.” Sungchan fiddled with his fingers, noticing the drop in Hyerin’s smile. “He started it actually. A fake relationship. I still don’t know why, but he did and I’m just so confused. I like him, I think, but I don’t know if he likes me back.”   
  
“Why would he start a fake relationship if he doesn’t like you?”   
  
“Well, that’s the thing. If he liked me, wouldn’t he have wanted an actual relationship?”

“Maybe, but there are so many reasons that he started a fake one whilst still liking you. I can list a few right now, fear of rejection, commitment issues or heck, maybe he thought the proposal would lead to a real relationship blossoming.”   
  
Sungchan looked at her. “You think so?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know the kid. You do. Has he ever indicated that he wants it to be real?”

Sungchan thought of all the moments they were alone but Haechan still touched him, kissed him and kept the act up. All this time, he labelled it as keeping the act up, but Hyerin’s words were making him begin to wonder. Were those moments where it was just the two of them real? Would Haechan go as far to fake it when no one’s around or was that Haechan’s indication of wanting it to be real?

“You’re thinking real hard there,” She interrupted, “I suppose the answer to my question is a yes.”

He nodded, “He does things when no one’s around. I thought it was just to keep the act up.”

She laughed, and that was enough for Sungchan to know his idea was stupid.

“Just promise me that you’ll talk to him,” She placed a hand on his shoulder, “You guys are young, so you don’t understand love properly yet but if there’s one thing you should always do with him, it’s communicate. Don’t let something slip away because you were too scared to talk to him.”

Her advice made Sungchan realise that his first love would be full of mistakes and stumbles, but as long as he was willing to get through those with Haechan, they’d make it through. 

“There’s one more thing.” He said, interrupting the silence. “The principal wants me to keep an eye on him. He can be reckless, gets into fights when he should walk away, and I step in to stop him. Now the principal said if I don’t keep him in check and get him to stop lashing out on other students, he might not get to go back or they’ll force him to attend therapy.”

Her eyes went wide. Sungchan scratched the back of his neck as he waited for a response.

“That’s a lot,” She mumbled. “Have you talked to him about it?”   
  
“No,” He stared at the ground, “I don’t know how to tell him or  _ what  _ to tell him.”   
  
“Well this goes against what I just said, but why don’t you start by figuring out why he fights them?” She suggested, “Maybe there’s something wrong in a section of his life that is separate to school, and he uses school as an outlet.”   
  
Sungchan thought about it, then realised Haechan never talks about his parents despite them appearing a delight to be around. He knew where he’d start.

—

It was a Thursday evening. Days after Hyerin had been over. Sungchan had begun to think about the possibility of Haechan actually liking him. He hadn’t seen the elder much at school however, and it made him worry, so he sent him texts and told him to call when he could. He decided it was about time they talked it out, and learnt what each others’ motives were.

He heard a knock on his front door, and lunged at it in hopes it was Haechan. It wasn’t. 

Instead, it was Jaemin, Chenle and Renjun. He wondered why Renjun had tagged along, but understood when he saw his hand intertwined with Jaemin’s.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“You’ve been miserable and we’re here to figure out why.” Chenle smiled, stepping into the house. Sungchan stood aside, letting them in. 

“What do you mean I’ve been miserable?” He watched as Chenle sat on his couch, acting as if the place was his own. Jaemin stood beside him, with Renjun lingering next to him, placing a hand on Sungchan’s shoulder.

“I told them about the fake dating stuff.” He spoke loud enough for everyone to hear, “We want to help you figure out how to deal with it.”

He sighed, realising they were just trying to be nice. He reluctantly took a seat beside Chenle, inviting the other two to sit down. Renjun looked like he didn’t belong by the way he sat furthest from everyone and was practically hidden behind Jaemin’s frame.

“So, how did this whole thing start?” Chenle asked.

Sungchan shrugged. “I slept over there and greeted his parents, then the next minute Haechan was walking in and introducing me as his boyfriend.”

“He did what?” Jaemin yelled, “Like, he didn’t ask you beforehand to fake it in front of his parents?”   
  
Sungchan shook his head, analysing Jaemin’s shocked expression to figure out what it meant. 

“What’s so shocking?” He asked, looking back and forth between Chenle and Jaemin who seemed to be talking telepathically with their intense eye contact.

“I just thought that he would’ve spoken to you about it first, and you know, asked if you wanted to do that.” Jaemin mumbled, breaking eye contact with Chenle.

“Well,” Sungchan shrugged again, “he didn’t.”

“That boy has some screws loose.” Chenle said, slapping his own knee.

Sungchan wanted to intervene and deny Chenle’s statement, but knew it’d just result in them teasing him. After all, it was pretty obvious why he would defend Haechan. 

“I know what to do though.” He said, looking at Jaemin. “I’ve got this.”

They nodded, backing off for a moment. Sungchan felt a small weight leave his shoulders at the warm feeling that accompanied his statement; he was going to make this right, and he was going to do it without the help of anyone. It made him feel like he’s taking control over his life again.

—

He saw Haechan again at school, walking in with Chenle and Jaemin next to him this time. It felt weird to not walk into school with Haechan beside him. Sungchan still wished that maybe the four of them could make a routine out of coming to school together, when he’s worked everything out with Haechan. So long as it all works out in both their favours.

His mind lingered back to the night of their first date, when Haechan’s lips had moved against his. His cheeks burned when he snapped out of it, and he looked forward to see the trio still walking the halls. Jaemin appeared to be telling them a joke, making Haechan laugh against Chenle who was too busy laughing to keep Haechan from falling. His heart clenched at the sight, but he let out a small giggle when Haechan frowned at Chenle, butt on the ground as other kids laughed. When Jaemin picked him up, he pulled his arm out of the boys’ grip, grumbling that the joke wasn’t even funny. 

Sungchan watched Chenle pull Haechan into a headlock, forcing him to walk forward with them. It was a funny sight to watch, Sungchan couldn’t help appearing like another nosy passerby-er who stared at the interaction as if the trios’ presence amazed him like it did for the other students in the hall.

His smile remained even when the trio walked past him, Chenle’s arm leaving Haechan’s neck to lean against Jaemin’s locker. Haechan stood in front of Chenle, back facing Sungchan, as Jaemin moved things around his locker. He watched as Chenle distracted Haechan from turning around, making brief eye contact with Sungchan.

He walked to homeroom without paying more attention to them, only seeing any of them again when Jaemin walked in, sitting beside him.

“We’re leaving at lunch to escape the crappy cafeteria food,” Jaemin leaned over his desk to whisper to Sungchan, “Wanna join us?”

“I’ll be there,” He mumbled back, looking at his desk so the other kids didn’t become intrigued in their conversation. 

In his next class, he sat in the seat that had an empty spot beside him, knowing Haechan was in this class. That seat was intended for Haechan. Renjun was also in the class, sitting in a seat on the other side of the room, far from Sungchan. Other than those two, he knew no one else.

He watched Haechan enter, scanning the room for a seat. There was an empty one beside himself and Renjun. By now, it was obvious to him that Haechan had seen both empty seats, and a part of him erupted in butterflies when Haechan started walking towards him. 

His path was interrupted by Renjun, grabbing Haechan by the arm.

“Sit with me.” He mumbled, tugging on the boys’ arm.

“Why?” Haechan replied, trying to get out of the latters’ grip.

Renjun sighed, eyes flickering to Sungchan’s for a moment. He watched as the smaller boy tightened his grip on Haechan’s arm. His mind searched for a reason, not realising they were even close. 

He watched the interaction, heart sinking when Haechan gave in, sitting beside Renjun while Sungchan sat alone. His eyes remained on Haechan, feeling his cheeks burn when Haechan stared back, eyes delivering an apology. It made him open his book, sticking his nose in it so he didn’t appear to be interested in Haechan at all.

He didn’t look up again until the teacher walked in, only letting his eyes flick to the pair when he knew they weren’t looking. When his lingering gazes were caught by Haechan, he forced himself to focus on the teacher for the remainder of that class, not wanting Haechan to catch him again. 

—

He sat beside Chenle in McDonalds, while Renjun sat opposite them, in between Haechan and Jaemin on the booth half of the table. Sungchan was glad Jaemin brought Renjun over, as he distracted himself from Haechan with Renjun; getting to know the boy. He decided he didn’t want to spend much time around Haechan until he gets to talk to him about their relationship. 

Renjun was a bit more talkative than yesterday, obviously more comfortable with the topics being spoken today than yesterday. He felt a bit bad that yesterday was all about himself, and gave Renjun no chance to speak or get to know him. It was an experience for the latter though; he got to witness all the details about Sungchan’s messed up relationship with Haechan. 

Speaking of Haechan, he followed Sungchan with concerned looks the entire lunch, eyes flicking back and forth between the speaker and Sungchan. It was like he sensed Sungchan’s desire to ignore him.

Sungchan wanted it to get on his nerves, but he couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed by the attention. It was nice to have someone silently beg for his attention, when they were the one always receiving the attention.

When he’d gotten up to order more nuggets for the rest of them, Haechan followed. He was like a puppy, trailing behind Sungchan, stopping when Sungchan stopped as if he was scared to bump into the younger and make his presence acknowledged. When he’d ordered, he turned around, staring at Haechan who looked at him with wide, surprised eyes.

“What?” He said, leaning on the counter as the employees ventured deeper into their workspace, away from the registers. The place was pretty much empty except for them, and a few other teens who’d obviously left school to be here too. 

“I was just wondering if you wanted to come over later?” Haechan rubbed the back of his neck, nerves smitten across his face. Sungchan almost laughed at the sight.

He shrugged instead, “Sure.” 

The nuggets came minutes later, and he returned to the table without paying Haechan another glance. He realised his actions were a bit harsh but he didn’t care. He wanted to show that he could hold off from Haechan if he wanted to, show that this stunt meant as little to him as it meant to Haechan.

They went back to school together; Haechan driving, Chenle in the passenger seat while Sungchan was squashed behind Haechan with Jaemin and Renjun filling the seats beside him. He could tell they were desperate to be alone together, Renjun’s hand resting on Jaemin’s thigh, dangerously close to a place Sungchan didn’t want to think about. 

Sungchan knew he was still rather new to their circle, but he still felt distant from them. He didn’t know much about Chenle, and Jaemin was more of a friend who he turned to when he needed navigation tips around the school or help with an assignment. Their friendship didn’t quite go beyond school. He hoped that yesterday was the beginning of a change, but he didn’t know for sure if they’d continue to get close. 

He leaned his head against the window as Haechan turned into the school parking lot, hurrying them out so no teachers spot them. It was easy to blend back in, walking to his locker like he’d always been on school grounds. The others dispersed to where they needed to be, and with a heavy heart, Sungchan looked around, expecting Haechan to be coming over to him. 

Instead, Haechan walked the other way, too wrapped up in the attention of the other students to even spare Sungchan a glance. 

He didn’t know whether to be upset or content. Haechan was simply giving him the same treatment he gave Haechan five minutes ago.

—

When he arrived at Haechan’s house, he spotted the latter sitting against his bedroom window. Haechan’s face lit up when he spotted Sungchan, pulling his window open as he made a gesture at Sungchan to keep quiet.

“I need you to climb through the window,” He whisper yelled.

Sungchan looked up with a squint. “How am I supposed to climb through your window? You’re on the second floor Haechan.”

He pointed towards the garage, directing his finger at a ladder that leaned against the outskirts. The plan seemed simple from there; grab the ladder, lean it against the wall that would lead him into Haechan’s room, then carefully push the ladder back against the garage wall. 

Sungchan sighed as he began moving, wondering why he had to sneak into Haechan’s room when he was certain the front door was open.

As he began to climb the ladder, there was a knock at Haechan’s door, causing the elder to quickly close his window, rushing to the door without explanation.

“The fuck,” Sungchan mumbled, holding his weight steady while he waited for Haechan to come back. 

He listened to the conversation happening on the other side of the room and judging by the voices, he could tell it was Haechan’s mother. He tried to listen to what was being said, but it was useless, their voices were too muffled from the window blocking them out.

He waited for Haechan to come back, startled when the window opened again moments later. 

Sungchan could see a difference in Haechan’s attitude. He didn’t know why, but he deducted that something had been said over there to alter Haechan’s mood. Before, he looked happy to see Sungchan, now Sungchan could practically see the stress falling off him.

“Give me your hand, the ledge is quite big here.” Haechan mumbled, offering his hand as Sungchan neared the top.

He grabbed his hand, biting his lip to hold back a smile. Haechan’s hand was soft, but gripped his hard, trying to steady the younger as much as possible.

When he’d finally gotten in, without falling on the floor of Haechan’s room, they leaned out the window together to carefully get the ladder back against the garage wall. It wasn’t hard, but there was a pretty loud noise omitted when it made contact with the wall.

“Fuck,” Haechan mumbled, eyeing his door.

Sungchan listened for any movement in the house, but relaxed when there was none. He put his hand on Haechan’s shoulder and squeezed. “She didn’t hear it, we’re fine.”

Haechan smiled at him, looking at the hand on his shoulder before looking into Sungchan’s eyes again.

“Hey,” He smiled bigger than Sungchan had seen that whole afternoon. How did he change moods so quickly?

Sungchan felt his stomach flood with warmth when Haechan pushed him onto the bed. He remembered Hyerin’s words, willing himself to not give into Haechan’s warm smile but failing when soft fingers found its way to his hips. 

As time passed, he felt Haechan’s breath on his neck, and as his mouth sucked marks along Sungchan’s neck, he couldn’t bring himself to care that he was being used.

When Sungchan let out a loud grunt, thanks to Haechan finding a sensitive spot, the elder leaned away with a low smirk on his lips.

His heart sank when Haechan moved off the bed, pushing his fingers through his hair. 

“You have to be quiet,” Haechan scowled. “My parents might hear you.”

“Sorry.” Sungchan mumbled, leaning against the bed frame. 

He watched the elder open his door, peeking his head out to examine the hallway. There was no one upstairs, Sungchan knew from the relaxed sigh from Haechan and how being over so many times has adjusted him to the footsteps along the floor of the second level. If someone were to be up here, he would hear their footsteps from the creak it omitted.

A minute ago, their lips had been on each others’ and he couldn’t get enough of it but now he’s watching Haechan from the bed, waiting for the latter to come back. Maybe this kissing break could give him the time to gather enough courage to talk to Haechan about his true feelings.

Haechan climbed on the bed again, settling in Sungchan’s laps just like before. 

Much to Sungchan’s relief and dismay, he didn’t make any moves to kiss the younger. 

“I’m grounded,” Haechan whispered, eventually. 

“Then why did you bring me here?” Sungchan whispered, heart thumping at their proximity. He pushed away the thought that he’s probably here as another piece of entertainment for Haechan’s boredom.

“Because I wanted you here,” Haechan interrupted. “Why else would I invite you over?”

“I don’t know Haechan,” Sungchan smiled, mockingly, despite the sadness laced behind it all, “I really don’t know. You say at one instance that  _ this  _ means nothing to you, and then you’re pushing me onto your bed and fucking with my emotions.” He wanted to push Haechan off him, wanted to run home and never look into Haechan’s eyes again, but he couldn’t bring himself to. He knew he was better off falling in love next to Haechan than he’d be falling in love from afar. “I need to know what you want.” He whispered, looking up at Haechan, “I can’t keep playing this game.”

Haechan looked at his door, then back at Sungchan. The noises around him drummed around Sungchan’s ears, his heartbeat being the loudest sound of all.

Haechan looked at him again, this time, he didn’t look away. His eyes read desperation and Sungchan felt estranged when he couldn’t recognise it; this expression was different, this one didn’t beg for something he couldn’t give.

“This doesn’t mean nothing to me.” He spoke, “I don’t want my mother walking in on us, but I would be kissing you right now.”

“That still doesn’t tell me what you want,” Sungchan mumbled, “How many people have you kissed before Haechan?”

The elder looked away, searching for something else to say.

“I need to hear you say it.” Sungchan said, “I can’t keep trying to guess how you feel based on actions that explain nothing.”

Haechan visibly looked constipated. As if, he’s never expressed himself through words before.   
  
His eyes slowly found Sungchan’s again, locking with a soft expression. Hands cupped Sungchan’s face.

“I want you Sungchan.” Haechan mumbled, leaning forward. Sungchan’s heart beat grew louder in his chest as Haechan placed a soft kiss on the side of his mouth. It felt more piteous than Sungchan wanted it to. “I don’t do relationships, but I want something with you.”   
  
“So you want me, but you don’t want to date me?” 

Haechan sighed, “Yeah.” His hands dropped from Sungchan’s cheek.

“I can’t do that.” Sungchan said, “You can’t start this fake dating crap just to say you can’t date me for real.”   
  
He wanted Haechan to look at him as he said this, so he cupped Haechan’s face, taking the time to simply look into his eyes, searching for something he knew he wouldn’t find.

“I want to be with you,” He whispered. “But I can’t be with someone who isn’t going to take this seriously.”   
  
“Sungchan, we’re young,” Haechan scoffed, “What teenagers would we be if we dated seriously?”   
  
His hands slipped off Haechan’s face. “We can date seriously and still have fun. What I’m saying is I don’t want to commit to this if I’m just going to get my heart broken in the long run. I want to know this relationship will be healthy and right for me.”   
  
“I don’t know if I can give you healthy.” Haechan whispered, honestly. Sungchan felt like he was one bit closer to Haechan after he finally gave him some truth. “But I can try.”   
  
Sungchan nodded, “Let’s just take it slow first. No labels, just let everything happen.”

Haechan nodded too, arms wrapping around Sungchan’s neck. His heart was tired from all the actions that caused it to speed up impossibly fast, but still picked up again when Haechan’s lips molded against his.

Something felt right for the first time in weeks. 

Sungchan wanted to stay there forever to relish in the feeling.

—

“Hey mum,” He smiled, surprised to see her home before him. Haechan had driven him home after school got out, so he thought he’d be home sooner than her. He put his bag down, sitting opposite her.

“Who did you speak to Hyerin about?” She asked, referring to the event from a day prior.

“Haechan.” He responded, “Why?”   
  
“I don’t want her to know about your father.” She urged, face serious.

“Why not?” Sungchan replied, fiddling with a thread on the end of his jacket sleeve. 

“She could probably beat him up with her eyes closed,” His mother laughed, “I think if I told her, she’d try to do that and I don’t want that to happen.”

Sungchan thought about it for a moment, then a light went off in his head.

“You’re telling me if he was to come back again, you  _ wouldn’t  _ want Hyerin to beat him to a pulp?”

She sighed, lowering her head to bite back a smile. Sungchan didn’t know if it was due to what he said or if it was the image of Hyerin doing that.

“I just don’t want Hyerin getting involved, okay?” She replied, looking up to meet Sungchan’s eye. There was fear in her eyes, making Sungchan’s chest fill with guilt. He couldn’t protect her no matter how hard he tried, and it broke him.

He agreed eventually, departing from the table to head to his room, claiming he had work to do. 

It’d been a few days since he had a proper chat with Haechan about their status, and since then, he felt lighter. There was definitely something different about the groups’ dynamics, but Sungchan wasn’t sure if Haechan told them about their talk so he assumed it was something else.

Maybe it was the fact that Haechan’s actions weren’t fake anymore. To Sungchan, they felt so real that his heart couldn’t keep up. There was still a sense of hesitancy behind Haechan’s actions, and it kept Sungchan up at night, wondering what the reason for it was.

The school year ends at the end of the week, and Sungchan was curious to know what’ll become of their group over the break. He knew he’d spend majority of his time at home, unless he ventures out to get a job, but he hoped it’d be different this time. 

He hoped he could spend his break with Haechan.

The elder was still working through his problems with his image, Sungchan could recognise that every time Haechan denied a party or rejected a girl, informing her that he’s not a cheater. The statement itself made Sungchan’s heart leap in his chest. Despite saying there’s no labels, Haechan was treating their relationship like it’s  _ real _ . 

That’s a change Sungchan didn’t see coming so soon.

He wasn’t sure what things were appropriate to bring up to Haechan, but he wanted to know about his past. It was a topic they’ve never touched on, and Sungchan knew it’d take time, but he hoped with the time they spend together, a trust will be formed on both sides.

He wasn’t sure how many people Haechan trusted in his life, but nevertheless, he grabbed his phone, dialling the elders’ number.

“Hello?” Haechan answered.

“Wanna come over?” Sungchan mumbled, switching from his desk chair to his bed. He felt like a typical teenager in the movies as he laid on his stomach, feet in the air, phone attached to his ear.

“It’s a Wednesday night,” Haechan replied, noises similar to a video game ringing in the background.

“So?” Sungchan responded, “C’mon, come over, I miss you.”

Haechan snorted, “Fine. I might be late though, I’m still grounded.”

“Just don’t get caught.” Sungchan smiled, giddy from the attention.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about that. I’ve got a good track record of sneaking out.”

He opened his closet after the phone call, rummaging through his clothes to find something nice. He was currently still in the clothes he wore to school, and the tackiness was beginning to make him itch. 

He wanted a nice outfit to show off to Haechan too; blushing at the thought. He caught sight of himself in the mirror of his bathroom, and as he traced his cheekbones, he got an idea to further impress Haechan.

He went downstairs, finding his mother in the same seat he left her in. She had a coffee in hand now, with the newspaper splayed out in front of her. Something was definitely wrong if she was reading the newspaper— Sungchan knew his mother. She didn’t read newspapers.

He sat opposite her, crossing his legs, waiting for her to notice him. He looked at the front door, which was far from the table, but he had a clear view of it. His mother hadn’t noticed him there yet, or decided not to acknowledge his presence.

“Haechan’s coming over,” Sungchan spoke eventually, watching his mothers’ face for a change in expression. It didn’t come.

“That’s nice darl.” She said, flipping the page.

He looked around, awkwardness seeping through every inch of the house. He didn’t like this distance that was being created between his own mother. 

“Can I go through your makeup?” He asked, making her look up with raised eyebrows and a curious pout of her lips.

“Why?” She flipped the page, “Do you want to wear it?”   
  
He nodded, “I wanna give it a try. Can you help? Please? Before Haechan gets here.”

She nodded, closing the newspaper. He smiled as she walked down the hall, following behind her. He found himself in her bathroom, sitting in front of the mirror. 

She moved the chair to face her as she began to apply all sorts of makeup to his face. Question after question about how natural he wanted to go spewed until seconds turned into minutes, and his mother was finally allowing him to check himself out in the mirror.

As he stood up, looking at his appearance, he felt a smile surge onto his face. His mum had applied a light pink eyeshadow around his eyes, pampering his face with a foundation that smoothed out his skin, and a small swipe of lipgloss across his lips. He looked nice,  _ really nice _ , and he was excited to see Haechan’s reaction. 

A knock interrupted his moment. 

“That’d be your boyfriend,” His mum laughed, stepping out of the bathroom. She remained in her room as Sungchan rushed to the front door.

When he opened the door, he thought he’d see Haechan outside, sporting one of the hoodies he always wore and a smile that usually made Sungchan’s heart melt. Instead, his heart stopped in his chest at what he saw.

“Are you crying?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed <3 and yes i left it on a cliffhanger hehe
> 
> leave me cc’s !!! i’d love to hear about your opinions and takes of the story!!
> 
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